I was swinging my legs like a kid’s. I couldn’t keep still. A bad habit of mine, especially when I was nervous.
Right now, I was about to hurl. And I wasn’t even certain it was solely from nerves.
It couldn’t be possible.
It just could not be.
I couldn’t be a high school health class warning statistic. I’d waited twenty-three years plus to have sex. Far longer than any of my friends or even my younger sisters. It just wouldn’t be fair.
Then again, what was? My flying-phobic mother had finally found the bravery to go up in my father’s plane only to lose her life on her very first flight.
I’d say that proved fairness was a fairytale.
But I had to be overdue for some good luck. I’d even added a few coins into my karmic bank account by agreeing to meet Asher at his house today once he left work. If I hadn’t had this appointment this afternoon, I could’ve made it easier on myself and spent the time with Bess instead, going over some of the particulars for Lily.
Instead, I’d had a very important test to take, where passing meant I’d have to take care of someone for the next eighteen years.
You don’t want to get stuck taking care of anyone else, huh? We’ll just see about that.
If Dr. Ellis didn’t return soon, I was going to flip the hell out.
She’d had a situation with another patient, but she was adamant about speaking with me. I’d had the same doctor since I was a baby. In a small town, everyone knew everything about everyone else, and your doctor sometimes was more like a friend than a physician. Usually, I appreciated that personal touch.
Not right now.
I wished I’d just peed on a damn stick like everyone else. But I wanted to be sure. No chances. Better to deal with the situation head-on. Positive action. Positive thinking.
Positively about to lose it.
The door opened and Dr. Ellis stepped inside, looking a bit harried despite her gentle smile. Her snowy hair was in a neat updo and she looked perfect from her tidy white coat to her responsible navy pumps.
Me? I was a half-crazed hot—literally—mess who couldn’t stop bouncing in place.
“Sorry about that, Hannah. It’s a zoo in here today. You know how it is before a snowstorm. Worse in here than the grocery store.”
“What snowstorm?” Normally, I was a weather buff, but I hadn’t been paying attention to much that didn’t involve cooking for my clients or was period-related.
As in where was mine, because it definitely hadn’t arrived on time.
“You haven’t heard? This weekend, we’re expecting two feet.” Dr. Ellis laughed and sat on the edge of her desk. Since she was a small-town doctor, her setup wasn’t as fancy as I imagined it might be in other larger facilities. “March weather can be fickle, can’t it? But that’s not why you’re here.”
For a second, thoughts of being shut in with Asher and his baby had overtaken even the possible occupancy of my uterus. I really did not want to deal with being alone with him right now. If I wasn’t pregnant, it would be hard enough, because he was right about a couple of things.
It wasn’t proper having a personal relationship while I was taking care of his daughter. Lily’s welfare needed to come first, not any pesky entanglements that could affect our working situation.
Definitely not any orgasms. I was certain those would affect far too much of my life, as they had already.
Case in point where I was currently sitting, jiggling my legs like a kid hyped on too much sugar.
Asher needed me. How he was so clueless at taking care of his own offspring, I had no idea. Didn’t having a child bring with it some natural wisdom about the role?
You’re about to find out.
“No, but thank you for the heads up.”
“You won’t need to stop at the store. Your kitchen is always well-stocked.” She smiled and shuffled paperwork. “Although perhaps you’ll have to add some new additions. You’re pregnant, Hannah. Congratulations.”
I didn’t blink. Didn’t swallow. The fingers I’d dug into my thighs as I swung my legs went numb, just like the rest of me.