Yet somehow he’d left only the ashes of Hannah Jacobs in this big, beautiful bed.
What I’d become next, I just didn’t know.
The rage of our own personal snowstorm eventually abated. The sweat cooled and our wild breathing slowed. Still, his heart beat a steady tattoo against mine while I traced a never-ending circular pattern on his back.
There were no words between us. None that could really convey just what that had been.
Finally, he slid away and sat on the side of the bed to dispose of the condom he’d luckily remembered to put on. My brain had been in a very dangerous place where I wouldn’t have questioned it.
That in itself was damn scary.
I sat up and gathered the sheets over me.
“Don’t think you’re going anywhere. We have all night.”
I gave a nervous laugh. “Even if I wanted to, the snow says no anyway.”
He turned toward me. “Do you want to?”
I lifted a shoulder. “No. But this can only be for tonight.”
Everyone knew fairy tales ended, and I wanted to take control of mine. I knew better than most that nothing good lasted forever.
He narrowed his eyes and his gaze flitted to my hand.
“Hello, remember that pesky virginity thing?”
“Right.” He stood and the firelight bronzed his perfect skin. And mercy, all the rest of him too.
I rubbed my legs together. I could still feel him there, like a permanent imprint.
Emotions and desire had coalesced into something hazy and feverish. Something I’d drag out on the lonely nights to remember when I’d done something just for myself.
I snuggled down into the blankets as he walked around the bed and into the small bathroom before returning.
“Enjoying the show?”
I grinned and pulled a pillow in front of me to hug it tight. Maybe then I wouldn’t lunge for him and embarrass myself. “Maybe.”
He lifted the edge of the blankets and crawled back into bed with me before taking the pillow away and tucking it behind his head. “If you’re looking, I get to as well.”
I burrowed deeper
into the covers.
“Now you’re going to play shy?”
I shrugged. “Orgasmic haze has left the room.”
“I should fix that then.” He pulled the covers over both our heads and dragged me closer.
The kisses were filled with laughter. I didn’t realize I had that in me after all the intensity of before. And to be honest, I didn’t know Asher had that side of him. There was a touch of charm in his reactions to me at dinner, but for the most part, there had been an aching loneliness that I’d recognized and been drawn to.
This part of him made things warm and expand in my chest. Things that I had no business feeling for a man who was a one-night stand.
By choice. I’d rather this be one perfect, happy memory than for it to turn into something tinged with regret.
That wasn’t for tonight.