“You liked them last week.”
“Elizabeth doesn’t like peas.”
“Oh, so if your best friend doesn’t like them, you can’t like them?”
She nodded as if that made total sense. “Ally doesn’t like them either.”
Halfway to my feet to clear the dishes from the table, I paused. And sank back down as heavily as a stone in a lake.
Just her name slayed me.
“Is she coming over today?”
Like an idiot, I stared wordlessly at my daughter. I honestly didn’t know, and that was my fault. On another Mother’s Day, she would. It was almost guaranteed. But because of my crazy scheme, I’d put distance between us. And distance between her and my little girl.
“I’ll find out,” I replied, unsure exactly how.
I was trying to give Ally space. Trying to not push or cause her any more discomfort on a day that already had to be tough. Not being there for her on this first holiday without her mom was like a physical ache in my gut. She wasn’t just the woman I’d asked to have my child. She was my best friend, in many ways my other half. The person I wanted with me when I was going out for a good time or just kicking back with a beer and a movie.
And Jesus Christ, I’d told her I wanted to fuck her. In lurid detail.
The kind of detail that had kept me up late every night since, fisting my cock and imagining the shock on her face. The way her pale pink lips had trembled open, as if she was stunned I would ever say such a thing.
But I had. Now there was no coming back from it. We could only go forward. The one thing I wasn’t going to do was apologize, because I wasn’t sorry for being honest. I was just mad at myself for not realizing sooner that the occasional flickers of interest I’d dismissed as being due to a lengthy dry spell were so much more.
It wasn’t like I wanted a relationship. Experience had taught me I sucked at those. Enjoying the process of getting Ally pregnant, however, was a completely different ballgame.
If she ever talked to me again. Which I wouldn’t know unless I tried.
“I’ll call her,” I decided, standing up and grabbing Laurie’s plate as she reached for another couple of peas. I waited while she grabbed them and pushed them into her mouth, shaking my head with a smile. “Fork next time, young lady.”
She gave me a toothy green-smeared smile. “Call Ally now?”
I could do that. Sure, why not? It wasn’t a big deal, calling my best friend on an important holiday.
That I’d told her I wanted to fuck her until my cum spilled out of her was incidental. Besides, I didn’t want it to spill out. I wanted it to stay inside until her belly grew rounded with my baby.
Our baby.
Swallowing hard, I carried our dishes to the sink and rinsed them off before loading them in the dishwasher. “Why don’t you go up to your room and pick out what you want to wear tomorrow then start getting ready for your bath?”
Sending Laurie off to dig through her drawers was always a dangerous proposition, but she preferred to dress herself these days, even if that meant she ended up more often than not in mismatched—and sometimes strange—outfits. Not like I was the fashion police. She was reaching for her independence, and so far, we hadn’t yet hit an impasse. It was coming, I was sure, but it wouldn’t be over rainbow leggings and light-up sneakers.
“Okay.” She heaved herself off the chair, her feet landing on the tiled floor with a thud. She circled the table and grabbed me around the legs, hugging me hard. “Love you, Daddy.” Then she ran down the hall, ponytails streaming, and I grinned.
Moments like that were why I wanted another one. Also, possibly a healthy streak of masochism.
After I heard Laurie’s footsteps climbing the stairs, I dried off my hands and tugged out my cell from my pocket. No missed calls or texts, which meant Ally hadn’t responded to the texts I’d sent. I’d only checked twenty times today, so not sure when I thought they might’ve come in.
Nada.
Nyet.
Eh, fuck it. I was calling her anyway. She couldn’t hide from me forever. If her answer was no, well, I’d just have to change her mind.
Steeling my shoulders, I hit the number one saved number. She didn’t answer for so long that I figured I’d get voicemail.
“Hi.” She sounded tired.