It was hard to empty my brain. I kinda sucked at it to be honest, but I had to try. I had to allow myself to really think through my options.
A glossy brochure stuck out of the top of my bag. Carefree students walking up pathways lined with lush green grass with stately buildings behind them. That could be my life.
My hand crept over my flat stomach. Or maybe I could embrace another life, while still achieving my hopes of getting my education. My mom had dreamed of me leaving and doing something grand. She’d worked her fingers raw to tuck a little away for me until she couldn’t keep pushing on anymore.
The thing was, I didn’t have to leave my home and start over in a new place to have a new beginning. It was hard to imagine a more perfect place for me than Crescent Cove, wrapped around the water. My home was here. My job, my friends. Sage.
Seth and Laurie—my family. My heart.
The pregnancy test hiding at the bottom of my bag.
It was probably too soon. My period was late. But that happened sometimes, so most likely it was nothing. I wasn’t going to take the test here in any case.
When and if I took that step, I would do it with Seth.
My fingers drifted up to cup my sore breasts. My nipple tightened at his name lingering in the fringes of my brain. Seth, who’d shown me just what I’d been missing this entire time.
I slid up higher to my neck and the curls at the nape of my neck. Would our little one be dark like us? My rich brown hair, and his near black? Or would her hair be auburn like my mom’s?
I lowered myself into the scented water that was rapidly cooling.
So much to deal with, so much to plan.
So much to discuss with Seth.
I stood up and rinsed with the little handle shower head. It was time to stop hiding. I liked to think it was easier, but that wasn’t really the truth either.
I tucked a towel around me and drained the tub, rinsing out the last of the bath bomb as I drip-dried enough to tug on my clothes. My worn jeans that I couldn’t part with, the old lacrosse shirt I’d stolen from Seth.
Always Seth.
I wandered back out to the main living space and my gaze drifted around the rustic, glass-walled room. We’d sprawled on the faded green rug on the first day of classes we’d skipped together junior year, passing back and forth a bottle of some foul-tasting stuff Seth stole from his dad’s liquor cabinet. He’d stopped short of getting drunk, but I hadn’t. I’d savored the freedom in laughing at nothing and lying on my back on the sun-warmed floor, staring up through the skylight at a sky full of marshmallow clouds. I was the girl with too many responsibilities, and he’d always been my ticket to fun and possibilities.
He still was.
I sat on the couch and reached for my iPad. I flipped the cover closed and tucked the tablet into my bag, setting it on the wicker chair beside me.
I couldn’t even pretend to care about the school schedule in there anymore. As much as I wanted to make my mother proud, and to spread my wings, I had to admit the truth. Online classes might be something I investigated more someday, but right now I was firmly invested in my life just as it was. Part of me always wanted to see what was out there, but my current reality was looking better and better.
If I didn't chicken out before I went for what I truly wanted.
The thwack of the screen door dragged me out of my musings. No one knew I was here. I reached for my purse and the can of pepper spray I kept in the zipper pocket. Sage insisted I carry it at all times, even when I had nothing but my wallet in my pocket.
“Alison?”
I sagged back against the chair. Not a burglar. A Hamilton. “Back here. What are you doing here, Oliver?”
He stepped into the sunroom, his back ramrod straight. His impeccable three-piece suit didn’t dare look wilted. My T-shirt was already sticking to me. The little house by the water was usually cool, but there wasn’t a single cool corner of Crescent Cove right now. Humidity and heat sat over the town like a shroud.
Not that you’d know it from Oliver.
“Finally. Do you have any idea how many people are looking for you?”
“I told Sage I needed a few days.” I lifted my chin. “I wasn’t feeling so hot.”
“The whole town is buzzing about this stupid reunion and here you are, tucked away.”
All the sureness I’d been feeling filtered right out of me. The reunion was tonight. Ignorance really was bliss. Why did he have to remind me?