And then it hit him. Major Flint had brought her the intelligence she’d been seeking ever since coming to Brussels.
The location of her brother’s body.
Which meant her quest was at an end.
Or very soon would be. Right now, she was too shattered by the skirmish with Major Flint to think about the future. But once she’d recovered from the initial shock, once she’d realised he wasn’t ill enough to need constant nursing, there would be nothing to keep her here.
This could be the last night he spent with her.
Chapter Eleven
She cried herself to sleep.
But at least it was in his arms.
As he held her, watching her finally succumb to exhaustion, he resisted the pull of weariness. If this was to be his last night with her, he wasn’t about to waste it sleeping. Not when he could savour the feeling of holding her in his arms. Not when he could watch her features, softly lit by candlelight. Even when the candle guttered and went out, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She looked even more ethereal by moonlight, the planes and hollows of her face stripped of colour. He loved the way expressions flitted across her face. The way she quieted when he smoothed her hair back from her forehead whenever a frown began to pleat it.
If only dawn would never come. For soon after daybreak, she would wake, and get up and leave him. Oh, perhaps not altogether, not yet. But now that she knew where Gideon was, now that she could finally lay him to rest, and he was recovering, she wouldn’t have any reason to stay.
All too soon, so far as Tom was concerned, she stirred, rubbed her eyes and stretched her arms over her head. Sat up.
One look at her face was enough to tell him she was already, in her mind, far, far away from him.
‘You are going to the Chapel Royal?’
She nodded. Got out of bed. Folded the blanket over her arm. ‘And then I will go to visit Justin. Straighten things out. Oh, don’t worry, Tom,’ she said when he must have made some movement that betrayed his despondency. ‘No matter what Justin says, I won’t leave you. After all, he has Mary nursing him, so why should he begrudge you your own nurse?’ She lifted her chin in that defiant gesture which was becoming so familiar to him. ‘It isn’t as if you have anyone else to care for you.’
But it wasn’t the same. He had no doubt that Mary was watching over the Colonel with such devotion because she was deeply in love with him. Whereas love wasn’t even on the list of reasons Sarah had for taking her stand in this bedroom. She wanted to defy her family. She wanted to prove her own worth.
No wonder she could so easily withstand the physical attraction that she was occasionally starting to feel for him. The last thing she wanted was to be hampered by whatever might be starting between them, just when she was finally breaking free of the hold her family exerted over her.
She bent down and gave him a fierce hug.
He put his arms round her and hugged her right back.
So what if she was only using him, for any, or all, of the reasons he’d just come up with? He wasn’t the man to look a gift horse in the mouth. He inhaled the faint air of violets that still clung to her. Savoured the feel of her breasts, pressed against his upper body.
> Memorised it all.
‘I shan’t be long,’ she said, straightening up.
‘Take all the time you need with Major Latymor. To lay him to rest. I will have Gaston wash and shave me, and try sitting out of bed for a while. But I shouldn’t be a bit surprised if I need a nap before long.’
‘Oh, poor Tom,’ she said, looking down at him ruefully. ‘I keep forgetting how very ill you are. You really don’t look at all well today. Is there anything I can get for you while I’m out?’
‘No, thank you. I will need to replace the pistols that got stolen while I was unconscious. And get some new boots. I had a spare pair in the baggage the men brought here, but now they are my only pair. But all that can wait until I’m up to visiting the boot-maker myself.’
‘Clothes,’ she said, suddenly looking a little shocked. ‘Oh, my goodness, I haven’t done anything about mourning. And I’m going to pay my respects to Gideon. I have only the most frivolous blue bonnet and spencer. Getting some blacks would have been the very first thing Gussie would have done.’
‘Yes, but you’ve been sitting over me night and day. So don’t you go condemning yourself for thinking more about saving a life than what you should be wearing to do it!’
‘You don’t really mind what I look like, do you, Tom?’ she said thoughtfully.
‘You always look utterly beautiful to me,’ he said staunchly.
She blushed. And lowered her eyes.
‘Thank you,’ she said quietly. And then stood completely still for a moment or two, as though contemplating adding something else.