But not so new that he had to help her, she thought with a surge of triumph as she looked down at him. Gently she eased him into her warmth and felt the tears start in her eyes because of how perfect it was. She blinked them back in case he thought he was hurting her and bent forwards to kiss him. Love you, she murmured against his lips. So much.
‘You had better stay in today,’ Luc said over a very belated breakfast the next morning. ‘I will do the rounds of the clubs and see if there are any rumours about your disappearance. I don’t think I have done anything to make Bradon suspicious of me, but it will do no harm for him to see me around as usual.’
‘I have no idea how he will react,’ Averil said. But a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach said otherwise. He would be furious and ruthless, for he would be losing a great deal of money. ‘Do be careful,?
? she added. ‘What if he uses Runners?’ But he merely smiled and reached for the coffee.
Grace had returned safely with her own possessions to report that she had mentioned to Lady Kingsbury’s dresser Finch that Miss Heydon was lying down in her bedchamber with a sick headache. She had locked the door and taken the key away with her, she added with a mischievous grin.
There was a real world out there, Averil reminded herself. And Luc had to live in it—and he had to continue to live in it when she had gone. ‘I should have asked before now,’ she said, contrite. ‘How was your report received at the Admiralty?’
‘Well, I believe. They are interested in the methods of analysis I used to trace the leaks and focus on the source. They want me to teach them to a group of lieutenants who have an interest in intelligence work.’
‘That is good,’ Averil said. His mouth twisted wryly. ‘Isn’t it?’
‘It is flattering and it means they aren’t posting me to the far ends of the earth right away.’
‘No, of course.’ The cold knot inside became a stone. ‘It will mean you can continue to court Mademoiselle de la Falaise.’
Luc put down his cup. ‘I’m not courting the woman while I am with you! What do you take me for?’
‘A man who wanted to set up a mistress,’ Averil retorted. ‘You have every intention of keeping one when you are married, have you not?’
‘I—yes. Yes, I suppose so, after a few months, I suppose, if I am still in the country.’
‘Well, then? How is this different?’
‘You are different.’ He frowned at her and she stared right back at him. ‘Don’t ask me why. I do not know.’ Luc pushed back his chair and got to his feet. ‘It just does not seem right.’
‘It is less hypocritical to take a mistress after you have married and have taken vows than it is when you are simply courting a woman and making her promises by implication?’
‘Damn it, Averil. You are hardly in a position to take the high moral ground on this!’ He strode towards the door. ‘You had a contract with Bradon that you set great store by, I seem to remember.’
‘My father had. I had made no promises to Bradon and you know perfectly well why I could not marry him! I do not like breaking a contract—’
‘Stop talking like a merchant!’ He spun round and stalked back. ‘This is not about some cold-blooded business deal.’
‘No?’ She found she was on her feet. ‘It always was. A mistress provides her body in return for money, does she not? You were clear about that, back in the Scillies—you treat your mistresses well, you said. You provide for them. What would you have done about finding a wife if I had said yes then?’ He opened his mouth and she swept on. ‘You would have gone ahead and courted Mademoiselle de la Falaise and told yourself that she would expect you to have a mistress, that it was part of the expectations in that kind of marriage. And this, now—you and me—is about a financial exchange, so what is different?’
‘I don’t know, damn it,’ Luc said as he came to a halt in front of her. ‘It just is.’
‘Well, I hope that your analysis of clandestine enemy activity is better than your understanding of relationships, or there are going to be some very confused lieutenants in the near future,’ Averil said, standing her ground in the face of over six foot of infuriated male. Oh, but he was magnificent, grey eyes flashing, chest heaving; even that nose of his was designed for nostrils that flared. She wanted him …
He grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her. He was furious, she could taste it, feel it and the excitement flared through her veins. What had come over her? She rocked back on her heels as he released her and she realised she was fizzing with energy and desire and excitement. All her life she had been well behaved and quiet and had avoided conflict like the plague. Now all she wanted was to rouse Luc to kiss her like that again.
‘You brute!’ Wanting to provoke, Averil picked up the first thing that came to hand, the coffee pot, and to her surprise Luc gave a bark of laughter.
‘Oh, well done—perfect mistress behaviour! But you should choose something more valuable and then, when you have smashed it, you must wheedle an even more valuable replacement out of me—’ He ducked as the pot flew past his head and splintered into shards against the door. ‘Ah well, at least it was empty. That flower vase soaked me.’
With his amusement her own excitement ebbed away. Averil just stood there, her hands pressed to her mouth. What had she done? Twice she had thrown things at him, behaved like a hoyden, and now he was laughing at her as though that was amusing. She loved him and all she was to him was a convenient body, a female to amuse himself with, a predictable creature with grasping habits and a tendency to make scenes.
Appalled, she felt the hot tears welling up and running down her face, unstoppable.
‘Averil!’ Luc’s feet crunched through the ruined coffee pot. ‘Stop it. You do not cry, you never cry.’
‘I don’t mean to,’ she said. ‘They won’t stop.’ He reached for her and she batted at his hands. ‘Go away. Please, just go away.’
She meant it. Luc backed towards the door, reluctant to leave her with those great tears running silently down her cheeks, but he had no idea how to stop them or what to say without making things worse. How had their leisurely, contented breakfast turned into this? His crime, he decided as he picked up hat and gloves and let himself out, was that he was not continuing to court Louise.