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Mom cuts and serves cake to everyone, giving me an extra-large piece. I anxiously dig my fork in and take a big bite causing her to laugh. It’s the second most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I close my eyes and clear my head. I won’t think about her anymore, not like that. I don’t need her to survive. Besides, I like how things are with Dylan and that’s definitely something I want to explore.

“This is great, Mom, thank you.”

She pulls out the chair next to me and sits down. Most of her co-workers have gone back to their offices. I’m curious what she had to do to get them in here. I suppose the offer of free cake was enough.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get you anything.”

I set my hand down on hers. “This is perfect,” I say, because it is. I never expected this – especially from her – and I’m going to enjoy every moment that I can with my mom.

I stay and chat until I’m dangerously close to being late for work. She sends the rest of the cake with me, making it incredibly hard to run down the street, but I’ll manage. I want to share this cake with Dylan tonight so I need to make sure I’m not wearing it all over the front of my shirt.

Work goes slowly. For a Friday night, we’re dead. I keep hoping my boss will let me cutout early, but since I’m the one who always asks to stay late, he never gives me a second thought. He does offer me a ride home, so that’s nice. It’s about an hour walk from the restaurant to Dylan’s house.

Walking up the driveway I can feel the house vibrating. The music is so loud. I’m surprised the neighbors haven’t called the police. Although I suppose when it’s a police officer’s house, the town turns a blind eye. I open the door and find people dancing. Some are holding red cups while others hold bottles. I knew Dylan liked to drink, but never really took her for someone who would bring it into her parents’ home.

I make my way through the crowd and into the kitchen. Only a few people linger in here, around the food table of course. I don’t know very many of these people and a lot of them I’ve never seen before. I put the rest of my birthday cake into the refrigerator. I don’t know if it should go in there or not, but I don’t want anyone eating it and I’m certainly not going to stand guard over it all night.

As I come around the corner, Dylan jumps into my arms. I stagger back as I catch her. We hit the wall behind us and she instantly starts laughing. I wonder if she’s been drinking. My curiosity is cleared the moment her mouth touches mine. She tastes sweet. Her tongue is cold, but welcome as it moves against mine.

She pulls away and smiles. “How was your mom?”

I beam at her. I love that she’s asking about my mom and encouraging me to maintain a relationship with her. I could so easily avoid her and forget about everything, but Dylan tells me I’ll regret it in the future if I act like that now. She’s right, of course.

“We had a party,” I say. “There was cake and her co-workers sang to me.” I put her down, not because I’m tired of holding her, but it seems awkward holding her like that with people staring. “I brought the rest of the cake home. Maybe we can have some later.”

“I’d like that,” she says as she straightens out my shirt, slipping her hand underneath. I lean down and kiss her on her forehead; I don’t know why, but it feels like the most natural thing in the world for me to do. Before, I felt like I was always blundering when I was with Hadley. How can things be so different? How can everything feel so natural with Dylan, who I’ve known for most of my life, than with Hadley, who I have no doubt that I was…still am in love with? I’m comfortable with Dylan. I don’t have to try and be someone I’m not when I’

m with her. With Hadley, I felt like I was always on edge, like I needed to be this down-and-out kid she was trying to save. Maybe what I had with Hadley was simply lust. First-time attraction and raging hormones and she was my outlet.

I know I want things with Dylan to be different. They have to be. I can’t compare her to Hadley. There’s no comparison. She’s been my best friend for years and maybe we were meant to happen. It should’ve been sooner, in my opinion. I wish I had never met Hadley Carter. The pain I’ve endured because of her is enough to last me a lifetime and it’s something I could’ve done without.

Dylan hands me a cup and promises me that I’ll like it. Thing is, I’m not really interested in getting drunk. I’d rather keep my senses and spend the rest of my birthday with her in my arms. She takes me around and introduces me to people I don’t know. There are kids here from other schools as well. I’ve heard about parties getting out of hand, but for the most part this one seems mellow.

We dance. I get to hold her in my arms and feel her up against my body. She’s not shy and I’m not sure if I like that or not. She has one hand underneath my shirt, her fingers dance along my waistband giving me just enough satisfaction. She pulls me down closer to her so she can press her lips against my neck. Each movement she choreographs as if she’s the conductor and our bodies are the orchestra.

As the night goes on, people come and go. Only once do I hear glass break, which leaves me standing in the middle of the room while Dylan rushes off to make sure nothing valuable has been ruined. My arms felt empty and cold without her in them. When she returns she looks frantic, crazy almost.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I just think it’s time for people to start leaving, if you’re okay with that.”

“Of course I’m okay with that. I would have been happy to celebrate just with you.”

“Okay, good,” she says before rushing off.

I start to pick up the garbage that people leave in their wake. She shuttles people out, most of them don’t even say goodbye. I find that a bit rude since she graciously opened her house to them.

Once everyone is out, we finish cleaning up the mess. I carry black bags of bottles out to the garage. We’ll have to take them to the store tomorrow before her parents get home. The last thing I want is for her to get into trouble or for them to think I did this and ask me to leave. Although if that happened, I’d just take a bus to New York and start living my life – there’s no way I’d go back to my parents. When everything is cleaned, furniture replaced and the house smelling nice, Dylan excuses herself to go take a shower.

I sit on my bed, listening to her sing in the shower. She’s loud. Her voice carries through the walls. It’s funny, all the time I spent with Hadley, she never once sang out loud. Maybe it was because that’s what she did for a living, but listening to Dylan makes me realize how real she is when she’s around me. When the shower shuts off, I jump. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. It’s not like I’m expecting anything to happen.

I step into my doorway just as Dylan comes out of the bathroom. Her hair is wet, leaving drops of water all over her shoulders. The hot pink towel she’s using to cover herself leaves very little to the imagination. She walks over to me, my mind forgetting that I’m standing in just my boxers, as her finger trails down my chest, resting when it reaches the top of them. I swallow hard, afraid to make any sudden movements or errant outbursts.

“I…” I clear my throat and try again. “Shower,” I spit out, earning a wicked grin from her. My hand runs through my hair, pulling at the ends. I don’t know what I’m doing here, no freaking clue how to proceed, but I think I want to… No, I know I want to.

Dylan kisses my chest, lingering there for a moment before walking down the hall to her room. I lean out of the doorway and watch as her hips sway back and forth. Taking a deep breath I hightail it to the shower and rush through getting clean.

I take a chance and go to her room when I’ve finished. I didn’t put on a t-shirt when I got out, hoping she’d want to kiss me again. I stand in her doorway. She’s lying on her stomach, her legs bent at the knees and crossed at her ankles. They move up and down as her head bops like she’s listening to music. Her hand moves back and forth, turning pages of a magazine or book.


Tags: Heidi McLaughlin Lost in You Romance