“Would you care for a warm towel, ma’am?”
I blink and turn my focus to the flight attendant pushing her wet towel in my direction. I take it and smile at her as my thanks. I don’t know what to do with it, but others are wiping their hands. I opt to cover my face and let the warmth seep through. I was hoping that my mind would focus on the hot cloth lying on my face, but it doesn’t.
I’m escaping. At least that’s what Oliver tells me. We’ve been together off and on now for over a year, and lately it’s been more off than on. He says it’s me, but dating the producer of my Broadway show, Enchantment, has never been my cup of tea. I want to earn my way. I want the lead based on my ability as a dancer, not because of who my boyfriend is. He doesn’t understand that. He says that he loves me, but right now I’m clearly in the “like” stages of life. I’m not sure he’s the one, but I’m drawn to him and I don’t know why. I thought that it was because he was older, and I felt he was more sophisticated, but lately that hasn’t been enough for me to give him my heart. Something’s missing, or I’m just not into him and I need to admit it and move on.
The fear is there, though, that he’ll cut me from the show because I’m no longer with him and replace me with a younger dancer. I think about it all the time and wonder if I’ll land another gig. He’s said the words that cut deep: my ass is too big, my toes don’t point, and my bun isn’t high enough. He follows up with an “I love you” but the sharp edges of his words still hurt. I work harder following those fights. I spend more time in the gym, longer hours in front of my barre working on my form. The bun I can’t help until my hair grows longer, but I try and that’s all I can do right now.
The captain’s voice comes over the intercom. It’s jumbled, but we all know what he’s saying. We’re about to land. In under an hour I’m going to see my nieces and nephew. I’ll get to wake up to their joyful laughs on Christmas morning and tease my brother relentlessly when he tries to sneak a kiss with Katelyn.
Harrison doesn’t know I’m coming. I’d like to say it’s a surprise, but the truth is I just needed to get away. Spending time with him, Katelyn and the kids appealed to me more than staying in his beachside apartment alone. My mom will be in Beaumont for Christmas too, and I miss her. I really just need my family right now.
I remove the now cold, wet washcloth and return my chair to its upright position. The moment we were allowed to recline, I did. With no one behind me, the freedom to relax and reflect was much needed. Once the plane touches down and is at the gate, everyone is out of their seats and scrambling to get their carry-ons from the overhead lockers. It’s almost a race to stand-up. The only winner is the person in the first class seat. They’re calling all the shots because plane etiquette dictates that those of us in the cheap seats have to wait our turns. Some people don’t abide by the rules, and when I see them I just want to stick out my foot and trip them. Mean, I know, but whatever.
With my bag gathered, I shy away from looking at the families excited to see their loved ones. Harrison would’ve been here if I had told him I was coming, but I didn’t want to interrupt his family time. He’s changed so much since he met Katelyn, and it’s all been for the better. She’s the sister I never thought I’d have, and she’s given me two exceptional nieces.
I think I’m homesick. My mom is always talking about Quinn, Peyton and Elle and how much fun she’s having, how her life feels almost complete. I know she’s spending more and more time in Beaumont now that Harrison has a family. I’m not jealous. I’m not anywhere near ready to have a family, but I do miss Quinn and I want to really know the twins. I enjoy my role as an auntie, but I am missing too much. Email, text messages and the odd Skype call just aren’t cutting it for me anymore.
Moving isn’t an option. Beaumont doesn’t have anything to offer me unless I want to quit dancing. I could open a dance studio and teach ballet, but that isn’t my dream. I can feel my dream within my grasp so giving up now would likely just depress me. Maybe I could convince Harrison to spend a few months in New York. The kids could get a tutor, Katelyn and I could shop and Harrison could work with Oliver’s production company. It’d be a win-win for me, but probably not for them.
It’s incredibly selfish of me to think they’d uproot their lives and come to New York because I’m homesick. It’s easier for me to do it, to move to Beaumont and be a part of a larger family. I could get to know Noah and Josie better, babysit Eden and maybe teach her ballet once she turns three. What Harrison has here is real. They’re all a close-knit family, and I’m just observing them from afar.
This is exactly why I needed a break. My head is swimming, and I know that once I see everyone, after I give it a few days, my mind will be back to where it needs to be: focused on my goal. I’ll be levelheaded and fully functional when I return to New York after New Year’s. Oliver won’t know what hit him when I take the stage. I’ll be in shape, just the way he expects me to be. I’ll be en pointe and deliver every step of the routine without faltering.
I pull my hire car into the driveway and park. The lights are on in the house, and there are shadows moving behind the curtains. Harrison is probably wondering who just pulled into his driveway so late. He’s going to be worried, scared even, that something is wrong. I’ve never shown up unannounced before. This is out of the norm.
Harrison and Katelyn’s house is huge. Her former father-in-law gave it to her so her girls could live in the house in which their father was raised. My brother is the most generous man I know. From the pictures I’ve seen, there are family photos of Katelyn’s former husband everywhere, and he’s talked about all the time. Ever decision they make, they do so with Mason’s beliefs in mind. My brother has made it his mission to keep Mason’s spirit alive for the twins. And I think for Katelyn and Liam, too. I’m not sure there are too many men out there that would do that. When I think about it, Oliver would be completely against how Harrison lives. Maybe that’s a sign he’s not for me.
Before I can put one foot on the step, the front door opens and the tall, looming figure of my brother emerges.
“Yvie? What are you doing here?”
I shrug and take the steps until I’m level with him. “I needed a break, I guess.”
Harrison gives me a half smile. “So you thought you’d come to a house with three loud kids?”
I can’t help the tears that start to glisten my eyes.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he questions softly.
“I think I’m homesick. I don’t know. Oliver and I haven’t been getting along and the show is on hiatus until after the New Year. I packed a bag this morning and caught the first available flight out. All I could think about was waking up on Christmas morning with Quinn. The last couple of years have been really hard when he wasn’t home, and I couldn’t bear another year without him.”
Harrison pulls me into his arms, holding me to his chest as tears fall from my eyes. I’m such a girl, crying because I missed everyone. I know most of my emotions are coming from my failed relationship, but seeing Harrison has really brought it all out of me.
“Hey Dad, Mom says we’re not heating the outdoors.”
I pull away at the sound of Quinn’s vo
ice. His eyes go wide and brighten when he sees me. “Auntie Yvie!” he shouts with such joy that my response is stuck in my throat. He’s happy to see me.
Quinn wraps his arms around me just as I bend down. This hug is what I needed. I needed to feel the love that this little boy has for me and to be able to give it back. Maybe this is what I’ve been missing these past few months.
My family.
I bundle the collar of my coat tighter around my neck as I walk against the wind. For the most part the weather is Beaumont is mild, but we do get these days when it’s so cold the wind chills your bones. It only lasts for a few days and right now we’re going on day three of one too many. This is my first winter in Beaumont. I didn’t have a lot of expectations when I moved here, but I was hoping for a calmer winter. I can’t complain though. I have A-list clientele and a thriving business. Being the only gym in town can do that for you, especially when I’m keeping my rates low and my hours flexible. I’m catering to the working class, both men and women.
Beaumont is a mix of blue- and white-collared workers, and I’m working to meet their needs. I’ve been able to hire a full complement of staff, and that enables me to dedicate myself to personal training and physical therapy. Most of this is in part to landing a lucrative deal with local band 4225 West. They’re based out of Beaumont, but I’ll be travelling with them when they go on tour in the spring. It’s mostly due to precaution with their keyboardist, Jimmy Davis. He was shot and almost died when a bullet ripped through his lung. He was in a coma for about a month and had extensive physical therapy to regain his full lung function.
Opening the door to Whimsicality, the scent of Christmas hits me hard. I’ll be staying home during the holidays so I can give my employees the time off. They have families, and all I really have are the Westburys, James’ and Davis’. I’ve been invited to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with them, and I’ve accepted. I enjoy hanging out with them, but it does make me long for something more. My parents married young, and I always thought I’d follow in their footsteps. But life has a funny way of steering you down the path you least expected. I can’t complain though because I’m happy. I own a successful business, some of it thanks to Liam, but mostly because I know what I’m doing.
Whimsicality isn’t crowded, mainly because of the expansion it recently went through. When the business next door ceased trading, Liam and Josie purchased that space, making the café larger. The band plays here occasionally, which brings in a lot of fans. They play impromptu shows and use social media to tell fans when they’re happening. Right now, Whimsicality is decorated for the holidays. There’s a Christmas tree in one of the corners and lights everywhere. Garland hangs on the walls – I know it’s garland because I was asked to help to hang it. We spent a Sunday in here doing everything by Josie’s instructions while she made those fancy center things that sit on the tables.
I choose to sit by the fireplace to take away the chill. During the remodeling phase, Harrison uncovered a massive brick fireplace that had been covered in plaster. He worked for hours to clean each brick and even replaced the cement to make it look brand new. It definitely adds to the winter ambience of the café.
“Hello, Xander. What can I get for you tonight?” Dana asks while she sets a cup of coffee in front of me. I’m a regular. I know the menu by heart. Dana has been here for about six months. Once the expansion was done, Liam convinced Josie to hire some help. He wants her to travel with the band when they go on tour this coming spring. She’s had a hard time letting go and just being the boss. Katelyn still helps out but not as much. It’s mostly while the kids are in school. Jenna stays primarily in the florist shop. Josie finally gave in and hired Dana as well as Sarah and David. David works mostly behind the counter and Dana and Sarah wait on tables. Josie hasn’t said anything during our sessions that would lead me to think she’s unhappy with the lesser workload.
Aside from the gym, that’s the one thing that has been a constant for me – personal training. It started with Jimmy, but Liam liked the idea of the band staying in shape. He also liked the fact that he trusted me enough to help Josie tone up, not that she needed it. I work with the girls three days a week, and the guys four days. That alone keeps my gym in business.
“I’ll have the turkey on rye, please.”
Dana nods and walks away. She’s a cutie and a gym member. She goes to college and works here to help pay for her tuition. Her parents came to the United States when she was three and left her on the orphanage steps before returning to China. She was adopted quickly and has lived a pretty privileged life from what she tells me. She also doesn’t resent her biological parents and hopes to meet them someday. I’m not sure how I’d feel if my parents did that, but I understand why hers did – to give her a better life.
The door chimes, and I look over my shoulder to see if I know who’s coming in. That’s small town life for ya. Everyone knows everyone, or they know your parents, brother or sister, etc. Liam is the shyest person I know, but he knows everyone. We can’t walk down the street without someone coming up to him. They either want to talk to him about coaching the high school team, which he’s politely declined many times, or they want to ask him when his next single will be out. Rarely does he get asked for autographs; that’s all Jimmy. Regardless of the fact that he’s married and a dad, he still has girls chasing him, especially on Twitter. He tried to get me hooked on his favorite social media site, but I told him it’s not for me. I have my business page and that’s about it. My business is simple – I help you get in shape and stay in shape.
Dana brings my food along with a glass of water. She knows that’s what I like to drink while eating. I’m here nearly every day. It’s better than being home alone and eating in front of the television. If I could, I’d have clients until it was time to go to bed, but no one wants to work out at nine at night.
I’m getting to that point in my life where I want to settle down. I want to find someone to spend my nights with, someone that I can hurry home to at the end of a long day in the gym. I want to walk into my house and feel warmth and comfort. Right now, it’s barren and there’s no life. I’m a bachelor and actually had to stop myself from putting up my psychedelic posters and plugging in my black light. I don’t want to live the dorm life anymore.
I’ve recently realized that I can’t trust a lot of people. The few women I have dated since I moved to town just wanted to get close to the band. I felt bad, but the guys understood. They said it wasn’t the first time something like that had happened. So now I’m leery. I have to find someone who wants me for me, not for my client list and at whose house I happen to hang out on the weekends. I need to be enough. Whoever I end up with needs to like kids, too. All my friends have them and those kids are the centers of their universes.
I want that in my life.
The thunder of elephants stomping down the hall is what wakes me. The creak of my door opening and little voices whispering is what gets me to open my eyes and prepare for the launch of Quinn. This time though he has two counterparts that I’m fully expecting to join in with the torture I’m about to receive. I cross my arms over my chest and close my eyes tightly. The bed moves just a smidge, and it’s Quinn’s voice that tells the girls what to do.
“Like this,” he says before he launches himself onto my bed, falling over the top of me. I play dead. It’s part of the game.
“Quinn, you killed her!” I don’t know which girl is speaking, but she’s spot on.
“She’s not dead, Elle, she’s pretending. Watch,” he says as he sets his hands on my hips and starts tickling. I can only fight my laughter for a moment before I pull him into my arms and tickle him back.
“You’re supposed to let me sleep in, you little monster.”
“But it’s breakfast time.”
I look over my shoulder to see the twins standing like statues. Elle is dressed in a pink nightgown with her hair in pigtails and holding a doll. Peyton is dressed in shorts and a foot