MY wife is crying and it’s all my fault and my two best friends are shooting daggers at me as I walk down the corridor towards the bar. It’s not going to matter what I say to her or to them. I’ve fucked up and there’s no changing it. I’m as stupid as my mum was when she took my dad back. I don’t know how I’m going to fix this. If I knew I would not be in this situation in the first place.
I approach the bar with some trepidation. They have questions and will expect answers. If this was any other woman they probably wouldn’t care as much, but it’s Jenna. I crossed the line during the night of the wedding and if the condom had done what it was supposed to do and not split, then no one would even know.
Except one time wasn’t enough for me and while being a dad wasn’t something I was looking to be, I’m happy that she’s my wife.
I take the beer that Liam is offering me. He and Harrison are leaning against the bar and watching the crowd. It makes a change that we are the spectators watching the crowd instead of it being the other way around.
“You scared the shit out of Jenna,” I say, before taking a long swig of the beer. The cold amber liquid feels good as it slips down my throat and I quickly finish it. I can’t get drunk, not tonight, but I can hide the fucking bullshit loitering at the back of my mind. Harrison knows my secret, but I trust him not to say anything to Liam. If I’m being honest, I’m hoping that he’s forgotten and hasn’t told Katelyn either. I don’t want the little tidbit about Chelsea being pregnant to get back to Jenna before I have had a chance to say something to her first.
That’s if I have the balls to even sum up the courage to say anything to her. Right now, I don’t. I’d rather have my nuts twisted into a vice grip than explain about Chelsea being up the duff.
“I don’t know much about women, but I do know those tears were a culmination of a few things.”
“What does that mean, Liam?” I ask, taking another beer from the barman.
He puts his beer down and looks at me. “What the hell could take two weeks that you couldn’t do from here? You left her the second you came back from your honeymoon. Why didn’t you just take her with you?”
“It’s not as easy as that, and you know it.”
Liam knows it’s not simple. There’s a reason why he never took Josie home to LA Sam. Chelsea is my own personal Sam. If I took Jenna to Los Angeles I wouldn’t be standing here today. Jenna would’ve left me. She would’ve walked out of my life and never looked back and I can’t risk that happening.
“You can’t be messing around on her. She’s pregnant and not feeling sexy.”
I look at my friend and shake my head. “How do you know this crap?”
Harrison laughs, lifting his beer bottle to his mouth. “This is why Katelyn and I aren’t having any more kids. I can’t deal with the emo shit that comes with it.”
“She told Josie she’s fat.”
“She’s pregnant,” I say a little more loudly then I intend to. A few people I don’t know, who I’m assuming are friends with Liam turn and look at me. I tip my bottle at them and smile before looking back at him. “You’re turning into someone who’s pussy-whipped, Liam.”
Harrison sprays beer out of his mouth and starts coughing. Liam looks like I’ve kicked his dog.
I shrug. “All I’m saying is that you’ve been getting in touch with your feminine side lately and it’s starting to show.”
“That’s what happens when you’re in love.”
I see my bride scanning the room, and hope that she’s looking for me. When our eyes meet, her face lights up. I take a sip of my beer and put it down. “Yeah, I know what you mean,” I say before walking away from both of them.
Her smile becomes bigger, her eyes brighter, the closer I get. I know I fucked up, but I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure she knows that she’s my number one priority. I can’t continue to mess up because I know if I do, she’ll leave. She’s already threatened divorce and I’ve hopefully talked her out of it, but if she says that word again I don’t know what I’ll do except to get down on my hands and knees and beg her not to leave me. I’ll do more than my father did, that’s for sure.
My dad has been gone for a month. My mum cries every night, but I don’t understand why. She kicked him out so why is she crying? I only talk to her wh
en she asks me questions. I’m mad at her for telling my dad to go away. I’ve tried calling him, but he never answers. I don’t know when I’ll get to see him again, but I’m saving all my money so I can go and live with him. Maybe he’ll take me to America to live with my grandpa. He’s always saying that everything is better over there and that he only lives in England because of my mum. But we don’t need her anymore so my dad and me can just leave.
I climb the steps to my mum’s flat. I don’t call it home anymore, not since my dad left. I open the door and walk straight up the stairs that lead to my bedroom. I’ll hide there until dinner. I don’t want to watch the television with my mum.
“Jimmy.”
I freeze when I hear my dad’s voice. I turn and see him kneeling down with his arms open and waiting for me. I drop my backpack and run into his arms. I knew he’d come back for me. He loves me and promised he’d take me to football practice.
“I’m really happy you’re here.”
“Me too, Jimmy. I wanted to see you before I left.”
I step back. “What do you mean?”
“I’m going to the States for a while, but I’ll be back.”