“Nah, I don’t think so.”
I watch as his face drops.
“Come on, let’s go get some lunch and we’ll talk about it.” I put my hand on his shoulder and guide us out of the store. I nod at the cashier when we pass and turn toward the food court. We order from the staple of every mall food court, McDonald’s, and find a place to sit that can accommodate our bags. I’m thankful that no one is paying enough attention to notice me. I’m not in the mood to sign autographs today.
“Do you ever talk to Elle or Peyton?”
Quinn shrugs. “Not really. Peyton is always with Noah, but she doesn’t talk much.”
“You know that their dad died last year, right?”
He nods as he sticks a french fry in his mouth. “Yeah, Noah talks about Mason all the time. It’s sad that they lost their dad.”
“It
is, I agree, and sometimes it’s hard for people to move on after they’ve lost someone they love so much.”
“Is that why Peyton is always upset?”
I nod. “I think so. From what Liam has told me, Peyton and her dad were very close and she’s having trouble adjusting.”
Quinn watches some of the people around us. He picks at his lunch, not really engaging in eating it.
“You okay?”
He shrugs. “I kinda thought Katelyn was going to be my mom. I saw you guys together and know you like her. I don’t know. Noah is always talking about great it is to have two parents and I know you like her and I think she likes you. I just thought…” His voice carries off while he plays with the wrapper from his straw. He doesn’t look me in the eyes, but down at his hands.
“What if he’s not mine?” I continue to pace. I was counting my steps, but lost count after five thousand.
“Of course he’s yours, Harrison, he looks just like you.”
I roll my eyes and pull on my lip ring. “He looks like the old man next door, doesn’t make him mine.”
My mom stands, setting Quinn – that’s the name I gave him – on her shoulder. She rubs his back, soothing him, not that’s he’s crying but he likes that.
“What if she comes back and takes him away?”
“Harrison,” mom steps closer and puts her hand on my arm. “I remember a day, a few months back, when you wouldn’t even look inside his car seat and now you’re worried she’s going to come back?”
I shrug. “He’s my life, I love him.”
Tears glisten in her eyes. I have to look away. I hate when she cries. It only took a day, which in my opinion was far too long, before I picked him up. I didn’t know what I was doing. He was crying and rocking him wasn’t working so I took a chance and the moment he nuzzled into my neck, I was a goner.
“He’s yours, sweetie.”
I don’t believe her. Nothing good can come of my lawyer calling me and telling me I need to come down. It’s been six-weeks since we took the test. The longest weeks of my life wondering if he’s mine and watching out the window to see if she’d be back.
“Mr. James,” I turn when my name is called. My body turns cold. I take a deep breath and stare down the hall that leads to my lawyer. To a man who holds my future in his hands. My mom pushes me forward. My steps are tentative as I drag my feet and follow behind her. Quinn, still on her shoulder, looks at me. His toothless smile making my steps just a bit faster. For months I’ve held him in my arms, waiting for this moment. Praying that a simple piece of paper will confirm what my heart feels, that he’s mine.
My mom sits. I choose to stand behind her, near the door for a quick escape. My palms sweat and my heart races. I think I’d rather listen to him cry for hours than sit in here and wait for a short man with beady eyes tells me my fate. My mom looks over her shoulder and reaches for my hand, holding it for reassurance.
“Mr. James,” he says as he shuffles paper back and forth on his desk. Shouldn’t he be ready? He called me and asked me to come in. You’d think everything would be in an orderly fashion. “I trust your day is going well.”
“It’s fine,” I reply.
“Okay, well I have the results here and also another matter we need to discuss.”
I roll my neck, trying to loosen up my nerves. He picks up the stack of papers and taps them against his oversized desk. He knows I’m paying him by the hour, that’s why he’s stalling.