“I can see why you left me. It’s beautiful.”
“It’s pretty spectacular at night when it’s like this, during the day, not so much.” I come up behind her and place my hand gently on her hip. “Look over there.” I point to where the spotlights are lighting up the sky. “That’s a movie premiere. There are probably a couple thousand screaming fans down there right now.”
“Have you ever been?” she asks. She closes her eyes and leans her head my shoulder. I have to remind myself to be a good boy.
“I have. It’s an experience.” I hold her like this for a moment, wishing it could be all night. “Josie, what you said, about me, leaving you for this. It’s not like that. I wanted you with me every minute of every day, but I didn’t think you’d come.”
She doesn’t reply and does the unthinkable and turns away from me to look around the room. She touches my Grammys, my gold records and the album covers I have on the wall.
“You’ve done really well for yourself.”
“I was determined. I had a lot to prove.”
“To who?”
“Me, mostly.” I bring her toward the table, pulling a chair out for her. She sits and I push it in slightly. She pulls her napkin to her lap while I pour glasses of champagne. “Sorry I didn’t dress up. This is my usual attire until I’m at one of those events.” I motion to the window.
“Do you go often?”
I pull the covers off our food and sit down. “It depends on what I have going on. If I have a new album coming out, yes I go. It’s free publicity and I’ll be able to push the release date or talk about the single playing on the radio. I’ve had to go a few times because I, well actually my band, have contributed to a soundtrack.”
Josie is quiet for a few minutes. She focuses on her food and I wonder if I said something wrong. I hope that I didn’t, but she has to see how different my life is here over what we would’ve had in Beaumont.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course,” she says before taking a sip of her champagne.
“Would you have liked all of this? The lights, noise, the traveling and long hours. Not being able to live a peaceful life. There would be no walking down the street without someone taking your picture. You’d worry about what or who you were wearing to a premiere and people would be your friends because of who you are or married too. Is this something you could see for yourself?”
Josie puts down her fork, bringing her napkin to her lips. When she pulls it away, she smiles at me. “If you're asking me today if I could live like this, the answer is no. I’ve lived such a quiet life for the last ten years I wouldn’t know what to do with all of this if I had to do it now. But had you said you were giving me an option of never seeing you again or moving here so you could try your hand at music, I would’ve gone with you. I would’ve left that night because you were my life, Liam.”
“I didn’t think you would and I didn’t want to hear you tell me no or belittle me for wanting something different. I needed to try this.”
“And now that you have?”
I shake my head. There is no right answer for this one. It won’t matter what I say because I’ve lost ten years with her and our son. “I love my life, Jojo, and I hate it all in one. I love what I do – making music and entertaining people. I wrote a whole album that you and Noah inspired in two weeks. That feeling alone is indescribable for me.” I lean forward and pull her hand into mine. “But not having you in my life has been tough. I miss everything about you and I wake up in the morning and think ‘what the fuck did I do’ because I had the most beautiful girl on my arm and gave her up for what… this?” I spread my arm out. “I live in a hotel because it’s convenient. They do my cooking, cleaning and laundry if I want them to. I have someone who dictates what interviews I can give and whose designer clothes I’m going to wear. I’m her fucking puppet because I pay her to do this job and I think about giving it up, but then I remember why I do it and can’t.”
“You’re really good at what you do.”
“Thank you,” I say bringing her hand to my lips. I place small kisses along her knuckles. I reluctantly let her hand go and pour us some more champagne.
“Are you trying to get me drunk?”
I give her my patented look. Her mouth drops open, her eyes glaze over. Josie has just met Liam Page.
CHAPTER 24
JOSIE
I’ve been able to avoid most of Liam’s looks until this one. I know my mouth is hanging open like a fish, my tongue dry. I cross my legs to ward off the throbbing between my thighs. I sit back and he smiles, shaking his head. He gets up, stopping behind me.
“What’s wrong, Jojo?” he whispers seductively, his nose skimming behind my ear making my breathing labored and unsteady. When he bites my ear, I squirm in my seat. I have to move away from him before I do something I regret.
He starts laughing and plants a kiss on my cheek. When he returns from the kitchen he has another bottle of champagne, and now I’m in trouble.
“That wasn’t nice,” I say, trying to be stern.
“You know, if you’re having a bit of an issue, I could help you.” His eyes are devious as he stares at me. He swallows and I watch his adams apple move, remembering the countless kisses I’ve placed there.