I shake my head. “No, never. I have nothing to say, Liam. You said what you had to that night and you didn’t wait to hear what I had to say or answer any of my c
alls. I don’t have to listen to your excuses and I definitely don’t owe you anything.”
I turn away so I don’t have to look at him anymore. I need to stay strong and level-headed. I need to channel the breathing techniques that the doctor gave me before I had Noah.
“You expect me to walk away knowing I have a son?”
I snicker. “Yeah I expect you go walk out the door, get on your fancy bike, go back to your celebrity girlfriend and back to wherever it is you came from. There’s nothing here for you and I don’t want you hurting my son. I don’t want him to know you just so you can walk away and out of his life for the next ten years.” I wipe a tear that drops from my eye. I will not show him the effect he has one me.
“I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Oh my god, Liam, from everything I just said you pick out the girlfriend part?” I shake my head. When I turn back around he’s looking down at the ground.
“We’ve moved on and you’re not part of our lives. Noah doesn’t need you, he doesn’t even know you so please just go and don’t come back.”
Liam nods his head. He doesn’t make eye contact with me as he walks by. I watch his body, the same body that I know every inch of as it moves around my counter to where his helmet is resting.
“See you around, Josephine.”
He’s only called me Josephine one other time in my life, the night he broke up with me. Once the door closes and he’s on his bike I break down. I fall to the ground, clutching my sides as I cry. Cry for ten years of missing him and him missing everything, including Noah.
CHAPTER 7
LIAM
“Hello,” I growl into the phone, pissed that someone is waking me up before the sun has even decided to rear its ugly head today. I squint at the clock, its red numbers showing me that it’s just after five in the morning. I’m supposed to be on vacation and I can’t even sleep in.
“Rough night, Cowboy? I thought this was a get in and get out trip? According to my calculations, you left three days ago. It would seem you’ve decided to spend some extra time there. What’s going on?”
“Jesus Christ, Sam it’s like five o’clock. What the hell do you want?”
“Well,” she pauses. I know she’s looking at her finger nails, probably thinking she needs another manicure or something. I don’t really care, I just want to sleep and forget yesterday ever happened. “When are you coming home?”
“Soon.” I’m too exhausted to play her game. I should’ve fired her a long time ago, but I didn’t and now I’m stuck.
“Liam,” she says my name so softly I know what’s coming. I’m in no mood to deal with her crap today.
“Not now, Sam.”
“I miss you. It’s been almost a week since we’ve seen each other. Let me come be there with you. You need me.”
“No.”
I hang up on her. I can’t deal with her and I definitely don’t want her here pretending we are more than what we are. My biggest mistake was sleeping with her. No, that’s not true. My biggest mistake was leaving Josie in her dorm room that night and not dragging her with me. If I had we’d be married and parents. Maybe we’d have another baby by now.
Hell maybe we’d be divorced and nothing would be any different. She’d still hate me.
I climb out of bed slowly and make my way into the shower. After my encounter with Josie last night I came back here to leave my bike and walk to the nearest bar. Not being in Los Angeles cramps my style a bit. It’s not like I can call someone to come pick me up and I knew I’d be too wasted to drive back last night.
I stand under the hot spray, allowing it to pulsate down on the top of my head. I think I’ve been dreading this day most of all. Secretly I was hoping it would never arrive, that my days would just replay themselves over and over again, like a music track I’m trying to dub.
I shut off the water once it turns cold and don’t bother to dry off as I fall back onto the bed. I could strangle Sam for waking me up. I know she does it on purpose because she doesn’t want me to forget she’s there… in the background pushing for the title of girlfriend. She loves to accompany me on the red carpet. The thought that the press thinks we’re a couple is thrilling to her. Sam wants the full package; the money, the fame and her face on every magazine and she thinks I’m the ticket. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve told her.
I don’t want her.
I wake for the second time when the hotel phone rings. The front desk calls to tell me my suit is being brought up and that the rental car I ordered is waiting for me out front. I didn’t think showing up to my buddy’s funeral on my Ducati would be very appropriate.
I dress in my black pinstriped suit. Sam ordered three new dress shirts in basic colors, black, white and blue. I opt for white with a black tie, simple and sleek.