“They started speeding through town and making crazy turns, so I guess he knew I was behind them.” She sighed. “I realized it was pointless and he’d just make stupid excuses if I confronted him, so I headed back to the carnival. But by then, they were tearing booths and rides down and I couldn’t find you anywhere.”
“My phoned died and I had to go meet Ethan.”
She nodded. “I know. I’m a shit friend. I’ve got to stop this, whatever this is, with Derek. I promise I’m working on it.”
She detailed the apologetic messages he’d already sent today, and I could tell she was far from letting go of her Derek drama.
My mind drifted to Aiden.
Do you ever want to see me again?
Did I?
I still hadn’t figured it out when we arrived at my house. I gave Camille a sympathetic half-hug, reassuring her once more that I wasn’t going to hold a grudge or refuse to hang out with her ever again. We said our goodbyes and I headed into my house.
I opened the front door and braced myself for my mother’s wrath.
It was silent.
I walked to her room as quietly as possible, hoping not to disturb her if she was resting. After using the bathroom, I knocked gently on her door. When there was no answer, I pushed it open a few inches.
My mother sat in her leather armchair, staring out the window.
“Mama? You okay?”
Her head whipped to me and her eyes narrowed to slits. “Oh, don’t pretend you care now.”
I absorbed the hatred in her voice and sucked in a breath. “I’m sorry about last night. My phone died and I stayed at a friend’s house.” No need to specify it wasn’t a friend she knew.
She returned her gaze to the window and ignored me. I could explain and apologize until I was blue in the face, but it wouldn’t matter when she was like this.
“Can I get you anything? Want me to help you take a bath?”
She snorted. “I’m not a fucking invalid, Emersyn. I can bathe myself.”
Then please do.
I swallowed my own hateful words.
“Okay. Well I’m here if you need anything. I’m going to head back to the hospital and try to see Drew during the next round of visiting hours. Ethan is staying one more night at the Andersons.”
Her stare could’ve launched missiles in my direction. “Thanks for updating me on what my children have decided they’re doing without even asking permission.”
I didn’t have the energy for this. Not today. “I’ll be eighteen next month. Ethan is a good kid and I’ve been looking after him for most of his life. So, if you want to pretend your super-mom and we need written permission to exist, you can save that for another time. I can’t do this right now.”
She threw something. I ducked just in time.
A heavy glass hit the wall behind me and rolled onto the floor. It was thick enough not to shatter. She’d been aiming for my head.
Tears sprang to my eyes. “When dad left you said you were going to try harder. Control your temper and spend more time with Ethan, remember? Those were your words. You’ve done none of that.”
“Get out of my room, you selfish little bitch.” Her voice was shrill, rusty knives slicing through me.
“One of these days, I’m going to get out just like you want, Mom. And when that day comes, I will never, ever come back here.”
“Fine by me, Emersyn. When have you done anything other than exactly what you wanted to?”
Was she fucking kidding?