I shake my head, but quickly start to nod. “I think Ben has a girlfriend.”
My brother looks at me, confusion all over his face.
“Did you know?” I ask.
Quinn strums his guitar before answering. “Honestly, I haven’t seen Ben around for the last couple of weeks. Did you just meet her?”
“No, I left before either of them could answer the door.” I push off the door and go over to the couch, flopping down. “Ben and I haven’t exactly been talking as of late. I don’t know why, but I was hoping to figure it out today.” I leave out the part where I think Ben and I had sex. Quinn doesn’t need those details about my life, and I don’t need to see the disappointment on his face.
“I was wondering why he hasn’t been over in awhile.”
“I thought it was because he was studying for his finals. Guess not.”
“Speaking of, how’d you do on yours?” Quinn asks. He sets his guitar down and leans back in the chair.
“I haven’t looked yet.”
Quinn motions toward my phone, which is sitting on our coffee table. I reach for it, scrolling through my app until I find the one that’ll allow me to access my grades. It takes me a few times to type in my username, mostly because my fingers are shaking. I don’t want to know if I failed any of my classes. I need four C’s to pass. Any D’s and I’ll have to retake the class during the summer, which means I won’t be able to graduate with my class.
“I can’t.” I hand my phone to Quinn and head into the kitchen to get something to drink. I’m not shocked when I open the refrigerator and find only bottled water and juices. Quinn has gotten rid of the beer he likes because the fridge is full of food, so I know either he or our mom had gone shopping. I actually wouldn’t put it past our mom to drive up and take care of him while I was gone. From the day Quinn came into our lives, she’s always had a soft spot for him. He’s her baby boy despite her not being his biological mother.
“You failed,” Quinn says loudly from the living room. Tears immediately fall, and my heart sinks. I did this. I put myself in a no-win situation and couldn’t dig my way out of it. I tried, but not hard enough. I walk back into the living room, feeling as low as I possibly can and in need of a drink. I need something to numb the pain of being an epic failure. My dad is going to be so disappointed, and I don’t know if it’s worse knowing this or not walking with my class.
“Summer school it is.”
Quinn hands me my phone with a smile. “You didn’t fail. You passed, but barely.”
“I did?” I choke out. The screen shows me C’s with one C minus. “Why would you tell me I failed?”
“Because I wanted you to see and feel the letdown. I know you tried, but it was late. You’re so much better than those grades, Elle. You know it. We all know it. Now you start this next quarter with a renewed outlook, and you kick ass with it. Shoot for the stars.” Quinn comes over to me and holds his arms out. I push him away, but he doesn’t budge. I don’t care if he meant well, it was a dirty trick, and my heart hurts because of it. Quinn doesn’t care and pulls me into his arms anyway, where I break down. It’s not only my grades but Ben as well. I need him to give me a second chance, to right the wrong I’ve done to him. He doesn’t deserve the way I’ve been treating him.
I also need him to come clean about the night of his birthday party. Something definitely happened between us, and he’s not saying, and I know it’s because of the way I reacted in the morning. I was confused and scared. Neither of which are adequate excuses for treating my best friend as if he’s done something bad to me.
“Do you want to go grab dinner?” Quinn asks after he releases me. “I have a gig later at the coffee shop and could use a fan in the crowd.”
“Sure. Let me go unpack and shower.” I grab my suitcase and head to my room. Every piece of clothing from the trip heads right to the hamper, which is already full. Ugh, I have to spend tomorrow doing laundry, which is my least favorite activity. Thankfully, we have a washer and dryer in our apartment, so I don’t have to lug my basket anywhere.
In the side pocket of my suitcase, I pull out the gift I brought home fo
r Ben. Each time the tide went out, I combed the coastline for seashells, putting a few into a jar with some sand from the beach. I thought Ben would like this because the gift comes from my heart and not some tourist store.
I suppose I could give Ben the gift now, but don’t want to screw up the relationship he’s building. I don’t know if he’s told her about me or not. Not that I expect him to. Our BFF status is definitely on a hiatus.
For now, the jar will sit on my dresser, which will serve as a reminder of a well-needed break from reality and much-needed time with my sister.
18
Ben
College is supposed to prepare you for long hours and late nights. One would think with the number of cram sessions and parties an average student takes part in we’d be prepared for the real world. This is not the case because of naps. We take naps, all the time. The only thing we’re prepared for is the copious amounts of coffee we can drink to stay awake.
There are very few people left in the office this late at night. Most of us are interns, trying to earn a coveted spot with Omni, Inc. Each manager has two reporting to them, and it’s the stiffest competition I’ve ever been in. Of course, Margie’s team’s going to win because I have music resources I can call upon to make sure our marketing proposal blows not only the clients and their manager but also the board out of the water. We need to knock the socks off everyone involved.
Right now, my partner, Talia, is face down on her desk. Over the past few days, I’ve found out a lot about her. She’s from the midwest and is not a party girl, which has been evident with our late nights. By nine, she’s always yawning, and by ten, she’s usually out cold. Still, she’s a hard worker and pulls her weight fairly. While I can stay up all hours of the night, she’s a morning bird, always bright and cheery, ready to tackle the day. Honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a better partner, and we make a pretty good team. We’re like yin and yang, and we both want to succeed.
My only complaint, Talia is chatty. I know everything there is to know about her parents, brother, her roommate in college and the type of cows her grandparents raise on their ranch. Talia wears a size six shoe, which allows her to shop in both the adult and kids section.
Our first weekend in New York is coming up, and while I want to stay in and work, Talia and the other interns have made plans for us to all go out. As much as I’d love to say no, I can’t. It’d be stupid not to build a network with the others. I don’t want to be seen as someone who isn’t a team player, both in and out of the office.