“New York.”
“Take it and run. Get out of California and explore the world for both of us. You don’t want to end up like me, working in some old man’s garage, praying he’ll have another car for me to fix so I can eat.”
“You know you could always come live with me.”
Brad shakes his head. “Nah, you need peace and quiet so you can graduate and become something. I’m good here, watching you succeed.” Brad heads to his toolbox and rifles through it until he finds whatever he needs. We’ve never really discussed our differences. While we look alike, we have different fathers, and while mine left me with a trust fund, which I can’t touch until after graduation, his father has always been absent. I think this is why Brad followed me to California when I moved out here for college, so I always had him.
“If I go, my apartment will be free for six weeks.”
“I got a bed here. You should sublet it and make some money back, and then take that money and find a nice girl to spend it on who doesn’t go by Elle James. She doesn’t deserve you, Ben. She never has.”
“You say that, but you like her.” I point out.
Brad nods. “I do. Elle’s a cool chick. So is Peyton. But liking her and thinking she’s the best fit for my baby brother are two different things.” Brad drops down onto his creeper and pulls himself under the car. A sure signal our conversation is over. I try to linger and even look around for something to do, but this is where Brad and I differ greatly. He’s good with his hands, while I’m creative with my mind.
“I’ll see,” I say loud enough for him to hear.
“Call me when you need a ride to the airport. I’ll take you.”
“Thanks.”
As soon as I pull away f
rom the garage, I drive toward the beach. It’s early spring, a Saturday and the traffic is going to be a pain, but it’ll give me time to think and process everything Brad said. As much as I don’t want to admit it, he’s right. I need to move on. I need to do what’s right for me. I think last night had to happen to bring me to this point. Elle and I are on two different pages. She wants to party and hook-up. I want to graduate and start a career and a life with someone I’m in love with. That’s something we can’t do together.
It takes me almost two hours, but my toes are finally in the sand. Of course, everywhere I look there are couples, chasing each other, making out or walking hand in hand along the shore, making me feel like I’m missing out on something very important in life.
The thing is, as hard as I try, I can’t imagine myself with anyone other than Elle. I’ve tried, and maybe it’s because she’s always there, living next door, barging into my apartment, calling me at all hours of the night. I can’t escape her, even if I tried.
And I really need to try.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and turn it on. It comes to life with messages from classmates thanking me for the party, but nothing from Elle. Honestly, I didn’t expect her to text or even call. What would she even say? I knew better than to sleep with her, yet I went ahead and did it anyway because I’m stupidly in love with her and now I’m going to be the one to pay the price. That price will be our friendship because I don’t know if I can go on pretending like nothing happened between us, and I definitely don’t know if I can turn a blind eye when she brings another guy home.
9
Elle
“YAHOO!”
* * *
Slowly, I open my eyes and let the sunlight in. There’s another joyous scream coming from somewhere outside, and for some odd reason, I’m smiling. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I’m home with my family, and when I’m here, everything feels right in my life.
Sometime before dinner last night, Quinn showed up, making my parents beyond happy to have us all home. Our dad insisted on firing up the grill and building a bonfire, something we really haven’t done in awhile. With Peyton living in Chicago, it’s been hard for her to come here as often as we want, especially now that Noah lives with her as well. As a family, we needed these past hours to reconnect and just be the Powell-James clan we’re used to being.
I thought for sure once Peyton and I came back to the house after sitting on the beach, my parents would say something about my party habits. They didn’t. My dad pulled me into his arms though, and I broke down. Even though he didn’t utter a single word, I could feel the love pouring through him. I guess right now I need strong doses of hard love, and he’s going to give it to me. Mom, on the other hand, fussed over everything, asking if I was eating right, studying hard and sleeping at least eight hours. I think that was her subtle way of telling me she’s watching. Through Quinn, no less. Those two have been thick as thieves from day one.
The living room is empty, and the glass wall that leads to the beach is wide open, letting in a nice breeze, along with more laughter. I step out onto the patio and use my hand to block the sun to seek out the source of the noise. Not far from the house is my family, creating an early morning ruckus. I think about staying back and watching, or even slipping out to return home, but I want to be with them, at least for one more day. Tomorrow, reality can rear its ugly head and destroy what’s remaining of my life.
As soon as I touch the sand with my bare feet, I sigh. Normally, the sand is too hot to walk in without shoes, so this is nice. I stop and look down at my feet and wiggle my toes, giggling loudly. I find myself walking briskly toward my family. They’re sitting together, spread out on multiple blankets, not far from shore. This is my parents’ happy place, and honestly, I find solace here too. The beach is calm and perfect unless it’s storming. However, a good storm on the beach is a remarkable sight.
Noah’s the first one to see me. He’s standing there with only shorts on and a football in his hand and waves in my direction. “Morning.”
“Morning,” I say as I approach. I sit down next to my mom who puts her arm around me.
“There are breakfast burritos in the bag there.” Mom points to a line of bags filled with various foods and a few coolers.
Confusion clouds my face as I look at her. “We live at the beach.” I point to our house. “Are you not able to walk back and forth?”