“What took so long?” I hear Number Four ask as I enter the garage.
“I’ll give you one guess,” Gracie says, exasperated.
“I thought all that… stuff went away once you were married?” he asks.
“Not if you marry the right one,” I say, climbing into my SUV.
“How do you know?” Gracie asks from the passenger seat.
I don’t take my eyes off the road; instead, I think about her question. Something Rhett and I always vowed to be was honest, even with our kids. They ask tough questions sometimes, and we always give them honest answers, no matter how tough or how uncomfortable that might be. Gracie is fifteen, and she’s growing more interested in relationships. She’s had a few boyfriends, and I say that word lightly. Group get-togethers, movie nights here at our place, but nothing serious. She’s getting to that age that one day soon, some boy is going to come into her life and sweep her off her feet.
“For me, I think it was when I realized that your dad was going to be by my side no matter what happened. He didn’t care that it was just me, that I literally only had myself to give. He loved me, regardless of my background. He treated me with respect and gave me a voice.” My mind drifts back to our wedding in Vegas, our divorce that neither of us really wanted, and the wedding we did the right way.
“What do you mean, a voice?” Number Four asks from the back seat.
“Our first wedding,” I tell him. Glancing in the rearview mirror, I see him nod. We’ve never kept anything from our kids. It’s our history, and how they came to be, a product of the love Rhett and I have for one another.
“How many weddings?” Lilah speaks up from her seat in the third row.
“Just two.”
“I still don’t understand why you got divorced just to get married again,” Gracie says.
“That was your dad. He wanted me to choose to be married to him. He wanted to ask me, and for me to say yes. That never really happened the first time. I mean, it did, but not without the alcohol.” I cringe as I admit that to my young, impressionable babies. No matter how old they get, they will always be my babies.
“Your voice,” Nora says.
For a ten-year-old, she’s very observant of those around her. She soaks up information like a sponge. I hope that this all sinks in for all of them. Even my son. I want him to find a woman who treats him with respect and is with him for him, not what he can give her. I worry about each and every one of them dating in this world today. It’s scary as hell. Maybe that’s just the momma bear coming out in me.
“My voice,” I finally confirm as I pull into the day camp. “Have a great day. I’ll be back at four to pick you up.”
“Can we have friends over?” my son asks.
“Sure, we won’t be home from practices until around seven,” I remind them.
“Thanks, Mom,” he says, leaning forward next to the seat and kissing my cheek. “Love you.”
At thirteen, he’s not embarrassed to show affection, at least not toward me. I hope it always stays that way.
“Love you,” Gracie and Nora call as they climb out of my SUV.
“Love you too,” I call after them.
“Love you too!” Lilah yells.
I find her eyes in the rearview mirror. “It’s just you and me kiddo.”
“What are we doing?”
“Well, I have to go to the store, and I need a big helper. You think you’re up for the job?” I ask.
She nods eagerly. “I can push the cart,” she says, and I smile. Lilah loves to push the cart, but she’s tiny for six and can barely see where she’s going. What would have been maybe an hour trip will surely turn into two. If not more. I’d rather be anywhere but at the grocery store, but time with her is precious. She’s the youngest and, just like her siblings, she’s growing up way too fast.
“Done. And we can even sneak in some ice cream,” I tell her. “It will be our little secret.”
“Oh,” she says excitedly. “I’m good at keeping secrets. Just ask Daddy. I’m keeping his secret about taking you away for your versary,” she says, so damn proud of herself. I bite my lip to hide my laugh. She has no idea she just spilled the beans and this “secret” that I already knew about.
“Wow, you are good.” No point in ruining our day scolding her for something I already knew about. Rhett and I have been planning this trip for a few months now.