He claimed her other cheek with his remaining hand. He looked straight into her warm brown eyes.
Could he say it? He cleared his throat, his nerves jumping. Get a grip, Bay.
She widened her eyes slightly, expectantly. She said nothing.
He gathered every ounce of courage he possessed and spoke from pure emotion. “Mia, I love you.”
Chapter Fifteen
Jeff’s eyes widened to saucers. “What?”
She swallowed. She wasn’t frigid. She just hadn’t let herself. Hadn’t wanted… A memory long buried jerked into her mind. Her last time with Jeff, in her bedroom, all those years ago… Her last orgasm, and the fleeting thought that she’d never feel that way again…
Thirty-three years…
“Was my brother that bad in bed? God.” Jeff exhaled, slowly shaking his head.
“No. I mean, he was fine. He just wasn’t you.”
“He couldn’t make you come?”
“You’re not understanding me.” She cupped his face. “I didn’t let myself. I didn’t want to climax. Not with anyone but you.”
His lips parted, and astonishment crept over his face. “Mia?”
“It was my choice.”
“But I—”
She silenced him, touching two fingers to his soft lips. “It’s okay. I don’t expect that you did the same. I know men have…needs.”
His neck reddened. “Oh, God.”
“Jeff, I told you, it’s okay. Everything is okay. It doesn’t matter. Women. Men. I know how things are in prisons…”
Jeff sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Mia, I hope to God for your sake that you don’t know how things are in prison. I didn’t have any relationships. No women and certainly not any men. I managed to escape…that. The only sexual release I got was whacking off, and trust me, that was pretty rare.”
Maria touched his upper arm. He had turned cold as ice. Lord, what have I done? She stayed silent as her heart fell to her tummy.
“Prison is not conducive to… Oh, fuck.” He stood and grabbed his boxers and jeans from the floor. “I can’t do this right now.”
“Jeff, please.”
He turned to her, his face ashen. “I saw things there. Heard things. Really didn’t put me in any kind of sexual mood. Not even good old teenaged yanking.” He stepped into his boxers and then his jeans. “I have to go.”
She stood, went to him, and grasped him against her. “Jeff, don’t go.”
He shook her off. “I have to.”
She threw herself against him again, determined. “No, you don’t. I’m here. I’m here for you. I want you just as you are. I don’t care about any of that.”
He untangled himself from her, turned her to face him, and looked her straight in the eyes, his gaze burning. “You’re not hearing me. I can’t. Not now. Not with— Damn!” He shook his head. “Too many demons to face.”
“Demons? Jeff, what are you—”
“I’m done talking tonight.” He zipped his jeans, grabbed his boots and shirt, and stomped out of the bedroom.
Mia