Rafe saddled Adonis, and they led the horses to the practice area once again. He helped her mount.
“You obviously did fine with walking and trotting the other day.”
“Yes, but I used the reins.”
“I know. We’ll work on getting you to use your body more so you aren’t in her mouth so much. Go ahead and do the circles I taught you last time, only this time, don’t hold onto the reins at all.”
“At all?” Fear gripped her. Silly, she knew. She’d hardly used the reins the last lesson. Still, they were kind of a security blanket.
“Don’t be frightened. I’m right here. I won’t let anything happen.”
His voice soothed her like a cup of steaming chamomile. As though it could take all the bad away and keep her safe forever.
But it couldn’t. Rafe couldn’t.
At least she could have him for riding lessons. Spending this small amount of time with him might get her through the next few days. She hoped, anyway.
He’d stopped trying to explain about his marriage. At this point, it didn’t matter. He couldn’t save her ranch for her, so she’d marry someone else and live without love. It had worked for her parents. They’d grown fond of each other, and they’d respected each other. They’d had two more children, and she knew her mother had suffered several miscarriages between Harper and Catie—one of the reasons they were nine years apart. So sex had worked between them. They no doubt enjoyed it. Sex was fun with anyone, right? She’d enjoyed it with Zach McCray and with others.
But she’d been attracted to everyone she’d had sex with. She was not attracted to Frank Longhorn. He was a nice guy. A genuine guy. A man who genuinely adored her.
More than she could say for the magnificent man with her now.
Why, oh why, does he have to be married? And why, oh why, didn’t he tell me before we…
She shook her head. No use ruminating. She’d done herself a disservice coming here today. She’d only prolonged her agony.
Today would be her last riding lesson. Her last riding lesson with Rafe, at least. She’d still learn to ride. She’d promised her daddy, and she meant to keep that promise. She’d be a rancher’s wife, after all.
Rafe worked both her and Belle hard, and by the end of the long lesson, her thighs and buttocks were sore and miserable.
“I’m going over to Catie’s pool and sit in the hot tub,” she said.
“Okay, have a nice time.”
“Want to come?” she blurted out before she could stop herself. Damn. Not the way to fall out of love Rafe Grayhawk.
“I’m on the clock, sorry.”
“Yes, of course. I know that. But…Chad took Catie into Denver for a pregnancy checkup.”
“Wish I could. Can’t.”
“I understand.”
He nodded. “Go ahead and get Belle s
ituated. I’ll see you Monday for your lesson, I guess. By then you’ll be Mrs. Longhorn.”
She shook her head. “I won’t be coming back. This will be my last lesson.”
“Thought you said you needed to learn to ride. You being a rancher’s wife and all.”
“True. I will need lessons. But I’ll find someone else. Seeing you…it’s too…” Too what? Too hard? Too sad? Too much like stabbing herself in the heart?
All of the above.
“You interested in hearing me out yet?”