I miss the way his smile lights up a room, the way he grumbles when he’s elbows deep in work, how he always makes me laugh when all I want to do is cry.
It’s plain and simple now. I ran away from not only Jake, but myself too. Now I have to go back and right the wrongs of my past and tell him the truth.
Admitting I was wrong won’t be easy for me, but it’ll be worth it in the end to tell him the truth.
I pack my car with all the belongings I’ve accumulated over the last nine months. It wasn’t a lot. Some clothes, toiletries, and a few mementos that meant the most to me. Before I left, I was renting an apartment with a friend and had her put all of my belongings in storage and paid a year in advance for the unit. Then, I looked for the smallest town I could and found a waitressing job that would let me work under the table. It wasn’t hard to find a place like that in Wyoming. I rented a room for cash monthly and I lived well within my means.
I take one last look around as I leave. The small town of Rock Springs has been a great place to live, but it’s not my home. It doesn’t hold the other half of my soul.
Jake
I should stop searching for Larissa, just give up. Apparently, it’s what she’s already done with our relationship. What the fuck am I saying? Maybe we were always meant to be just friends.
That tightness in my chest continues to burn more and more each day. She just doesn’t want to be found. I’ve gone everywhere, the boutique she used to work at. Hell, I even went to her shithead parents’ house. When Declan suggested I use his private investigator, I balked. I had already hired three, and they couldn’t find jack shit. To find my best friend turned lover, it was something I needed to do. We had one night of unbelievable bliss. For fuck’s sake, I took her virginity, never anticipating her being a virgin at the age of twenty-four. Once I knew I was her first, I wanted to be her last. Fuck that, as soon as I find her, I’m going to be her last.
I return to my computer when an alert pops up, letting me know I have a new email. I finally did what Declan said a month ago. I hired the private investigator he suggested. He hit the ground running. It still took him a month. A fucking month, but he told me he had a few leads that he was looking into and that he’d keep me posted.
When I see the email with Terry Smith, the private investigator’s name, my stomach bottoms out. Sure, I’m a thirty-year-old man, but not having Larissa around, it’s like the other half of my heart is missing.
I read over the report. It’s stating where she’s been and where she’s been working. I’m about to take the next jet out of here. My one and only thought is getting to Larissa as fast as I fucking can.
I slam my laptop shut and push out of my chair, grabbing my keys and phone on the way out of the office.
I’m going to find Larissa, maybe wring her neck, kiss her breathless, or fuck her to death.
My phone ringing stops me in my tracks.
“Hello,” I answer the phone roughly.
“Jake,” whispers the voice that’s been haunting me for the past two hundred and seventy days and two hundred and sixty-nine nights.
“Don’t you leave where you are Larissa,” I grouse.
“I’m not. I promise, Jake. I’m… ummm… I’m at your condo,” she says, with uncertainty in her voice.
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, Larissa. Do not fucking move,” I demand, and then hang up. I’m already halfway to my car and on my way to her.
Larissa
I should have gone home first, well — not that I really have a home. Really, what home do I have? My roommate rented my room out. I wasn’t really expecting her to keep it while I got my life together. Instead, I came right to Jake’s place. I didn’t even stop by my parents’ house. Not that their welcome would be warm. We haven’t spoken in years. One falling out about me wanting to go to college and better my future, instead of staying in our small town and working at the family hardware store. They looked at me like I thought I was better than them. I just wanted a career. Something better for myself. They told me to leave and never come back. So, I didn’t, and I refused to turn to them now.
Instead, I ran straight to Jake, expecting him to be home, especially this late at night, only to realize he wasn’t here, and the doorman wouldn’t tell me if he was or not. He blatantly refused to call Jake one way or the other. I put my big girl panties on and did what I had to.