“And you said you wouldn’t whore yourself out to pay for my time. This was a fuck, baby. A simple fuck. We both got what we wanted. There was no deal other than that.”
“There was! You said you’d play for me whether I fucked you or not.”
Shit. He had said that. Funny what lust does to the brain.
“Damn it! You owe me!”
Owe her? Why did it burn him up when she said that? He shook his head. He knew exactly why. “I think I’ve made it clear that I don’t owe you, or anyone like you, anything.”
“Why do you keep saying that? What do you mean by anyone like me?” She shook her head, let out a huff of air. “Look, I know your girlfriend just dumped you, but that doesn’t mean you can—”
Now his own hands balled into fists. Girlfriend! If only it were that simple. “You don’t know anything about me, Jane. All you know is that I enjoy fucking you. That’s the culmination of your knowledge about me. So don’t presume to understand what I’m going through.”
“Christ, we’ve all been dumped, Chandler.”
He fiddled with a button hole. “You owe me a shirt.”
“I’ll buy you a dozen shirts, okay? I’ll hand sew new buttons for you. Just don’t let me down tonight. Please.” Her eyes misted.
Now she was offering to buy him shirts. Hell, the shirt he wore had probably cost more than what she made in a week, and she was offering shirts. He felt like a piece of shit.
A yearning to take her into his arms overwhelmed him. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, ensure her he’d always be there for her, starting with her performance tonight. That he’d never let her down. Ever. Instead he walked out the door, his shirt hanging open and untucked, and left her standing alone in his studio.
* * *
“You can’t let her down, Chan.”
Was that his conscience speaking? No. He looked up from the bench in the backyard of his family’s mansion. Ryan stood there. Of course. It had been his conscience. Ryan had always filled that role.
“Since when are you Jane Rock’s champion?”
“She’s a nice girl. You ought to spend some time with her, get to know her a little.”
Get to know her? He knew her. He knew her in the biblical sense. It didn’t change anything. “So you know her, Ryan?” A stab of jealousy pierced his gut. “Just exactly how do you know her?”
“She and I talked pretty extensively the night you were arrested, and we talked on the phone earlier today. She was looking for you. She’s a smart woman with a lot of talent.”
Chandler closed his eyes, inhaled. “And she’s beautiful.”
“Oh God…”
Chandler met his friend’s gaze. “What?”
“You slept with her, didn’t you?”
“What makes you think that?”
“You’ve got that starry-eyed ‘Chandler’s in love’ look. Christ, I haven’t seen that since Katie Dorman your first year at the conservatory.”
Chandler looked away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Jane Rock is nothing but a thorn in my side.”
“Ha! A thorn in your side, maybe. A thorn in your heart? For sure.” Ryan fumbled with the keys hanging from his side pocket. “Look, she deserves this break.”
“Yeah? Where’s my break?”
Ryan shook his head. “You’re something, you know that? You’re whole fricking life has been one big break. Jesus, Chandler.”