“Yeah,” Jon said. “We know this has been hell for you. It’s hell for us too. But we need to know, honey. We need to know if you love either one of us.”
She gulped. “That’s the problem. I’ve never fallen in love before.”
“Oh.” Sadness laced Jon’s voice.
“No, let me finish.” Eve cleared her throat. “What I mean is, I’ve had my share of boyfriends, but I never fell in love with any of them. Never felt that solid connection, you know? But now…” She wiped her eyes.
“Damn, don’t cry,” Jon said.
She sniffed. “It’s okay. You need to understand. It happened gradually. I’ve always loved you guys. You’re everything to me. And one day a couple months ago, I realized I’d been thinking about you both all the time. Fantasizing about you. Wanting to be with you intimately.”
“Which one of us?” Brian asked.
She let out a harsh sigh. “Don’t you get it? Both of you. I’m completely in love with both of you.”
Brian dropped her hand. “What exactly are you saying, Eve?”
A vise gripped her heart, and two tears trickled down her cheeks. “I love you both. I spent the last two days ruminating about this, hoping I could find I loved one of you more. Then at least only one of you would be hurting. But I can’t. What does that make me? Some fickle little floozy, I guess.” She buried her face in her hands and let out the sob she’d been holding back for two days.
Two hips nudged hers. Four arms embraced her. She’d admitted her shortcoming and still they comforted her. “I don’t deserve this.”
“You’re not flawed.” Jon’s deep voice soothed her. “You’re not fickle. You said yourself you’ve never been in love before. So how can you be fickle?”
“Because it’s not normal to be in love with two men. It’s not fair to either of you. But I do love you both. You, Brian, your artistic nature, your love of music, the way you make the piano sound as if it’s playing just for me.”
“It is playing just for you, Eve. When I’m playing it, that is.”
“And you’re so strong. You know what you want and you go for it. You have a solid, commanding presence and it’s irresistible.
“And you”—she turned to Jon—“so smart and so strong, physically and emotionally. So dedicated to your work, to your friends. You understand your spiritual side. And you’re so trusting. You’re not afraid to submit to someone else’s desires, someone else’s needs.”
“Only your needs, Eve.”
She sighed and closed your eyes. “Both so different, yet so similar in your strength and capacity to love. You’re the best of friends. And you’re my best friends.”
“What are you getting at?” Brian asked.
Always the one to take charge. Brian had to know what was going on. She didn’t blame him. “I honestly thought it was only me, that neither of you would ever reciprocate my feelings. I thought I could live with
that. Love you both from afar, you know? But then you both tell me you’re in love with me and you want me to choose.” She gulped. “Well, here it is in black and white. I can’t choose one of you over the other.”
“No.” Jon thumbed her palm. “You’re not leaving us, are you? We can go back to the way it was. It’s possible, if we all try.”
“I…I don’t want to go back. It’ll hurt too much. And it’s not fair to you. You’re both amazing.”
“Then what?” Brian said. “How are we supposed to deal with this?”
“I—” Her heart pounded like a sledgehammer. What would they think of her? “I have a proposition.”
Both bodies tightened next to her. So aware, she was, of each of their movements, each of their emotions. Right now they worried about what she was about to suggest.
“We’re listening,” Jon said.
“I’ll make a decision.” She swallowed. The invisible tension pervaded the room and crawled over her skin like tiny fireflies. “But before I do, I’d like to…” For God’s sake, Eve, get a backbone already! You’re stronger than this. These men love you as much as you love them. They’ve proven that. “I want us to make love.” She shivered. She knew she was turning a hundred different shades of red. “Together. All three of us.”
Neither of them spoke.
“You think I’m a freak, don’t you?”