Strong fingers massaged her buttocks. “What have I done? My love, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s…all right…” She sniffed.
“No, Sophie, it is not all right. Your bottom is way too red. Why didn’t you stop me?”
Tears rivered down her cheeks onto the black silk of the bed. “I…I wanted to understand. You…seemed to need it.”
Zach turned her over and pulled her into his arms, caressing her shoulders, her arms. He cupped her cheeks and forced her to meet his brown gaze. Tears misted in his eyes. “My God, you’re a treasure. But Sophie, I never need to hurt you. You must always tell me what your limits are. When you say stop, I will stop, no questions asked.” He wiped away an errant tear. “God, I’ve become a beast. My worst nightmare.”
“I…I’m sorry, Zach. I should’ve said something.”
“Yes, you should have. But you have no reason to be sorry. I am not the one who is hurt here. You are.” He buried his head in her shoulder. “Sophie, please don’t leave me.”
Sophie squirmed, escaping his grasp, and sat on the bed next to Zach. She gasped. No doubt about it—her bum was sore.
Zach covered his face with his hands, sobbing softly. “Don’t leave me. Please, don’t leave me.”
Sophie took both his hands in hers, unmasking his face. His smoky eyes were sunken and sad. “I’m not going anywhere. What is this about?”
Zach stood. “I want to run you a warm bath, Sophie. It will ease the pain.”
“You didn’t answer my question—”
“I have to do this. Please, let me take care of you.” He walked to a door and opened it, entering what was presumably his bath chamber. A while later, he called Sophie in.
Sophie couldn’t help staring. The bath chamber was luxurious, even nicer than those at the Brighton estate. A claw foot tub stood with real running water. While her mother and the earl’s bath chamber had running water, the rest of the chambers at the estate did not. She still depended on Hannah to prepare her baths.
Zach had regained his composure somewhat. He lifted her and gently placed her in the tub.
“Zach,” she hedged. “I… I won’t deny that I enjoy your spankings. But we’ve never talked about this. We’ve never talked about why you enjoy giving them so much and why I enjoy receiving them.”
“I honestly haven’t thought about it much,” Zach said. “I’ve always liked to take a dominant role in the bedchamber. Some women like it. Some don’t. If they don’t, I don’t do it. You… You were something special from the beginning. Somehow, I knew without asking that you would enjoy a spanking. It’s like…your body told me what to do.”
“I was quite surprised that I do enjoy it. I’ve always been rather conventional, as you probably guessed. I had no sexual experience—not even a kiss—before I met you. But something about you…”
“I understand perfectly. Something about you too…”
“I’ve been thinking,” Sophie said. “I… Well, I’ve told you before that my childhood was less than happy.”
“Yes, you have.” The sadness in his eyes flickered again.
“The truth of the matter is, my father was a tyrant. He beat and raped my mother. And he also beat Ally and me.”
Zach widened his eyes, the anguish on his handsome features increasing. “Oh, no. Don’t tell me he—”
Sophie shook her head. “No. He never touched either of us in…that way, thank God. My mother saw to that. But Ally was so strong. Even though she was two years my younger sister, she would provoke our father, make him come after her to spare me. I don’t know why she did it. I’ve never talked to her about it at length. But she protected me, Zach. She protected me when I should’ve been protecting her as the older sister.”
Zach sniffed. “I’m so sorry that you went through all of that. But if I know your sister, she did what she wanted to do.”
“Yes, she wanted to protect me. She always considered me so fragile. And I was a timid child. I’m still a timid woman.”
“You don’t seem so timid to me.” Zach managed a slight smile.
Sophie closed her eyes, inhaling the fragrant steam of the bath. “My actions have shocked me, truth be told. I can’t seem to control myself with you.”
“Nor I with you, my sweet. Today seems testimony to that effect.”
She opened her eyes. Again his face was etched with grief.