* * *
Sophie awoke with a jerk. Her heart pounded rapidly, and freezing tingles prickled her skin all over. Scattered images and smells permeated her mind. Her father—his rotten breath, always so rank—her first courses—the ache—the mess—her mother, tortured yet still so proud and brave.
And Ally.
Always Ally. Her baby sister. Ally always protected Sophie from Father’s beatings.
Sophie was the older sister. She was supposed to protect Ally, not vice versa. But she hadn’t had the strength. Ally was strong, always so strong. She still was today.
Ally had taken so many beatings meant for Sophie. And Sophie had never been able to stand up to their father the way Ally had. He beat her to a pulp, yet still she kept fighting… Always fighting…
How was it now that Sophie was enjoying a spanking from Zach? None of this made any sense. The whole idea should repulse her, based on her abusive childhood.
She would have to stop seeing Zach Newland.
Grab every bit of pleasure out of life that you can. Ally’s words rang in her head.
How in the world could she consider this pleasure, when the same act had brought her so much pain earlier in life? Not just pain for her, but for Ally and Mother too.
Even if she wanted to stop seeing Zach, which she didn’t, she’d already committed to take the role in the musicale. Of course, she could step down. He had another soprano to fill the role—Nanette.
That is what she would do. She would go back to the theatre this afternoon and tell Zach that she could not be his le
ading lady.
She let out a sigh. If only things could be different. But Sophie was still Sophie.
She was a coward, and she always would be. No amount of courage or faith in herself could change that.
She rose to get ready for luncheon. She took a quick peek in the looking glass and fiddled with her hair a bit, until a frantic knock on the door interrupted her.
“My lady!” Hannah entered without permission. “Come quick! It’s Lady Alexandra!”
CHAPTER TEN
Sophie grabbed Hannah by her upper arms. “Ally? What has happened?”
“I don’t know, my lady. All I know is they say she’s bleeding.”
Sophie’s heart nearly stopped. Ally was not yet eight months long. If she was bleeding… Sophie couldn’t think of it. Ally and Evan wanted that baby so badly! She pushed Hannah aside and ran from her chamber, down the hallway, and down the stairs, nearly tripping over her feet. She stumbled into Graves as she ran down the stairs.
“Lady Alexandra is in the parlor,” Graves said. “Bertram has gone for the doctor.”
“What happened?” Sophie bit her lip.
“Your sister doubled over in pain. We’re not exactly sure what’s happening.”
“Can’t you get her to her chamber?”
“We’re not sure if we should move her, my lady.”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake. Where is Lord Evan? Where are my mother and the earl?”
“They’ve all gone into town for the day. Bertram will try to find them when he summons the doctor.”
Was no one ever here when help was needed? “Isn’t there anyone who can help? Surely some of the servants have had experience with childbearing.”
“Yes, two maids are with her at the moment.”