Each step takes me closer to home.
Closer to my vineyards.
Closer to Ashley.
No.
Just no.
Numbness coats every nerve in my body.
“Let’s go,” Johnson prods.
I fall to the ground in front of the blackness illuminated only by the starlight above me.
My Syrah.
Such a large part of my Syrah.
Gone.
And I feel nothing.
Not a damned thing.
How can this be?
How can it be when all I’ve done is feel lately? Ever since I fell in love with Ashley and let everything dormant inside me loose?
“I’m on Steel property,” I say robotically. “Your job is done. Get the fuck out of here.”
“Steel,” he says, “you’re lucky. Colorado Pike lost a lot more.”
Colorado Pike lost a lot more.
I should feel bad. It’s a shame. The Pikes are our neighbors to the north. Good people. It sucks for them. I know this, and I should feel for them.
But I feel nothing.
Not a damned thing.
“Get the fuck out of here,” I say once more.
He sighs and shakes his head. “Glad I could save your ass. Maybe you shouldn’t be such a fucking dick.”
“You’ll get your precious paycheck, Johnson,” I say.
“Oh, yeah. I will, but if you think I do this solely for the paycheck, think again.”
“Why do you do it, then?” I ask, still speaking in monotone. “You like to be a hero?”
“I do it because it’s the right thing to do. I serve my fellow man. It feels good, Steel, not that you’d know. What the fuck have you ever done for another human being?”
I don’t answer, because at this particular moment, I simply don’t care.
I’ve done a lot for others, both with time and money, but would I put my own life on the line to save someone I didn’t know? A person I have no feelings for? The way Johnson saved me?
Did he even save me? I could have gotten back on my own. Right?
Maybe not. I needed that oxygen mask for the first quarter of our walk, and I got it from him. Otherwise, I’d have passed out from smoke inhalation, and the fire would have gotten me.
Maybe that would have been the better option.
I shake my head.
No. I’m not suicidal. Not since Donny and I were in captivity.
Not since we…
I fall onto the ground, lying on my side, as memories hurtle to the front of my mind.
My little brother cries in my arms as blood trickles from him. He doesn’t say anything, just cries tears of pain, tears of… Of what?
We don’t talk anymore. I stopped telling him it would be okay long ago. Even now, when I take the brunt of the abuse, I can’t always protect him.
Like this morning, when he was dragged to the corner of the room by three masked men.
Three this time. Usually it’s two, sometimes one. Hardly ever three. The only other time it was three, they took me, not Donny.
I begged them to take me this time.
I screamed and kicked and even bit one of them. I cursed them. Told them to fuck me, to try to break me.
Usually it worked.
Not this time.
They dragged my brother to the corner and forced his T-shirt over his head. I averted my gaze, until one of them walked to me and held me down, forcing my head toward the horrific scene before me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, and the bastard punched me in the head.
Still I didn’t open them.
He punched me again, again, again, until finally he had to force them open with his fingers.
Forced me to watch my brother get used. Forced me to listen to his screams.
Forced me…
Forced me…
Forced me…
So now, as I hold my brother, I wonder what could be worse than what we’ve just endured.
And I know the answer.
Nothing.
Nothing could be worse than this.
Not even death.
Donny’s sobs finally stop, but still, he clings to me.
“Hey,” I say to him, “this won’t happen again.”
“That’s what you always say,” he hiccups.
“I mean it this time. We won’t let it.”
“How?”
“The only way we can.” I grab his cheeks, force him to meet my gaze. “We die.”
Chapter Eight
Ashley
Brock leaves after a cup of after-dinner coffee. I stand.
“I suppose I should get back to Dale’s. Penny will need to go out.”
Jade nods. “I’ll come with you. We’ll see to Penny, but then I think you should spend the night here.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“I know you will be,” she says. “But it’s okay not to want to be alone.”
“You’re very sweet to offer”—I smile weakly—“but I made a promise to Dale that I’d stay at his place and take care of his dog. I can’t break that promise.”
“Would you like me to stay there with you?” she asks.
I shake my head. “I’ll be fine, but thank you for offering. It means a lot to me.”
“You’re kind of our honorary daughter, Ashley,” she says. “Right, Talon?”
“More than you know,” Talon agrees. “Because of you, Dale has something to come home to.”