“Yeah. I’ll do it. Anything for Mom.”
My boys were devoted to Daphne, nearly as devoted as she was to them. It was beautiful to behold.
I did my best. I taught them ranch work, orchard work. They even hung with Ennis in the winery from time to time. He’d taken over for Bruce after a couple of years, and he was our master winemaker now. A Brit. Go figure. He sure made great wine, though.
I kept them busy while they were home and saw to it that they kept their grades up at school. They went to public school in Snow Creek. No Tejon Prep in Grand Junction for them.
I’d paid dearly for going there.
In fact, my boys knew nothing of my high school days. I’d told them I went to Snow Creek Schools, just like they did.
I didn’t like lying. I’d never developed a taste for it, but damn, I’d become good at it over the years. I still wasn’t quite as good as my old man was.
My old man.
He’d called me thirteen years ago and said he was going to Jamaica.
I’d never heard from him again.
He could be dead, for all I knew. Hell, everyone else thought he’d been dead for over thirteen years.
I hadn’t given him a thought in a decade.
But now? I wanted his advice.
Because when Wendy found out about Daphne’s pregnancy, there’d be hell to pay.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Daphne
I didn’t have favorites.
Jonah was my first, and boy, was he ever his father’s son. Not just in looks but in temperament.
Talon had a gentleness about him that reminded me of myself as a child. I’d been shy and somewhat introverted. Talon cared so much about others. He brought in baby birds and abandoned kittens.
And dogs. They were his real weakness. Every stray that came by became a new project for my Talon.
Then there was Ryan, whose wound I was cleansing with Bactine at the moment.
“It stings, Mommy!”
“I know, sweetie, but it only lasts a minute.” I pressed a bandage onto his finger. “All better?”
He smiled. What a radiant smile this little boy had. He was more pretty than handsome, with delicate features and full red lips. Definite male model material. Not as rugged in looks as Joe and Talon.
I didn’t remember much about being pregnant with him. I’d been so good about losing time over the past years, but that chunk of time was one that eluded me.
I didn’t worry so much about time loss these days, though. I was a busy ranch wife and mother of three.
I patted my belly. Soon to be mother of four.
Three children were more than a handful. Add in a fourth and…
Of course, the boys were bigger now. Jonah was nearing thirteen and didn’t need me as much. The thought saddened me a little, but it was the way of things. My little dove would leave the nest eventually, and I had to get used to the idea.
This baby, in some ways, would make up for that. I’d have a new little one who needed me. A new little angel to devote myself to.
This would be my girl.
I knew it in the depths of my soul, just as I’d known the others were boys. All except Ryan. I didn’t remember having those thoughts while pregnant with him.
I didn’t remember anything at all.
Obviously I’d been lucid. I’d taken care of my other two children, who had thrived, so I must have been doing something right, even though I didn’t recall what.
I kissed Ryan’s tear-stained cheek. “Go find your brother and play, okay?”
He nodded.
Just a bandage and a kiss and all was better.
How wonderful to be a child—to have no worries other than being sheltered, fed, and loved.
And my children were all loved beyond measure.
I was loved beyond measure, as well. Not just by my children but by my husband.
I just wished it were enough to heal me, to keep me from ever losing another second of my life. I’d stopped going to therapy after Talon was born. I was struggling with potty-training Joe, and Talon had colic and required a lot of attention.
I didn’t regret a minute sacrificed to my children.
But I feared I might have sacrificed myself a little bit.
Perhaps it was time to return to therapy. The boys were older now, and we had full-time help. I patted my belly once more.
“I’m going to fix myself,” I said to my unborn daughter. “I’m going to fix myself for good this time.”
Summer was my favorite time of the year. The boys were home from school, all my favorite flowers were in bloom, and now I was blooming as well with a new child growing inside me.
The boys and I were set to take a trip to Disneyland in a few weeks. I was determined to get there, even with morning sickness. My first pregnancy had been tough, and I’d ended up on bedrest. Talon, my second, had been much easier. I still had morning sickness, but after the first trimester, I was much better. My body cooperated a lot more, and I didn’t need to be on bedrest. He’d come early at thirty-six weeks, but he was still an eight-pound bouncing baby boy.