Severe anxiety and depression. That was my diagnosis, according to my mother. Funny thing was, I didn’t recall being anxious or depressed, because I didn’t recall much of anything about that year.
And I still had the nightmares, but I kept that quiet. Nightmares didn’t hurt anyone, and I didn’t want my mother needlessly worrying.
Patty and I showered and went to breakfast.
“What did you do last night?” she asked after swallowing a big bite of scrambled eggs.
No bacon graced either of our plates. Boy, I missed bacon, but Patty promised some uncured, humanely raised bacon would arrive soon.
“After dinner? I went downstairs to the lounge for a while. No drinking, though. You?”
She smiled dreamily. “I had a great time with Sean.”
“Are you guys a thing now?”
“I’m not sure. He may just like fucking me.”
I tried not to wince at her words. They were crass, but they were also true. “Do you want more than that?”
“I think I might, but I’m not going to push it. We just met. Besides, this is college. We’re supposed to have fun, and I’m definitely having fun.”
I nodded, taking a sip of coffee.
“So what’s up with you and Brad? Or Ennis?”
“Nothing with Ennis. We’re just friends. Brad? I’m not sure, but we’re going out tonight.”
“Oh? Sean didn’t say anything about getting together with you guys.”
“Brad says he wants it to be just the two of us. He’s taking me to dinner downtown.”
“Really? What about the woman he—”
“It’s over, he says.”
“And you believe him?”
“I don’t know.” I sighed. “I want to.”
“Then you should, I guess. A dinner in Denver sounds wonderful.” Patty’s eyes gleamed. “What are you going to wear?”
My stomach dropped. What was I going to wear? I had a few dresses, but they seemed childish when I thought about them. One was a sundress with daisies on it, and the other was a hot-pink wraparound dress. I could wear basic black pants and a silk shirt. If I had a silk shirt, which I did not.
“I have no idea,” I replied.
“I’d let you borrow something, but you’re so much taller than I am. I know! Let’s blow off orientation and go shopping!”
“How? We don’t have a car.”
“The bus, silly. I have a schedule. This will be great.”
“But orientation… What if there’s stuff we need to know?”
“Big yawn,” she said. “It’s more of that team-building crap. We met everyone yesterday. We’ll be back in time for registration at two. Besides, tomorrow’s the big event. It’s first nighter.”
“First nighter?”
“Weren’t you listening yesterday? First nighter is when they line up all the freshman girls and all the freshman guys by height and pair them off for a dance. They give us roses and everything.”
“Just when did they mention that?”
“Yesterday morning. Plus, it’s on the schedule. I swear, Daph, sometimes I think you walk around in a daze.”
Sometimes I did. I forced myself to remember everything, but I hadn’t read the schedule, and if first nighter was mentioned yesterday morning, I was still a bit hungover.
I didn’t have anything to wear to any first nighter either. I didn’t have a lot of disposable income—read: none—but Patty’s shopping idea was looking better and better.
“You’ve convinced me. Shopping it is.”
Patty and I returned with new outfits for my dinner with Brad and for first nighter. For tonight’s dinner, I’d wear a basic black wrap dress that hugged my curves. I’d thought it a little much, but Patty convinced me it was perfect. I had to admit it seemed to be made for me.
I was willing to wear the same thing to first nighter tomorrow, but Patty said that would be tacky. I wasn’t sure why, since Brad wouldn’t be at first nighter, and only he would see me tonight, but whatever. So for first nighter, I got a burgundy dress that was slightly less revealing—but not much. I got some black strappy sandals that went perfectly with both. Though she tried, Patty did not talk me into another pair of shoes.
Patty had spent most of the several hours we spent shopping complaining about how nothing went with her red hair and green eyes. I disagreed and told her she could wear anything she wanted. She finally decided on an emerald prairie dress for first nighter, and she bought a very smart mahogany number for her big date with Sean—should it ever happen. She bought two new pairs of shoes.
Pig farming must pay.
Either that or she liked to spend money.
I was naturally frugal because my mother was. These new purchases put a serious dent in my bank account, but I figured I wouldn’t need to shop for anything besides shampoo for a while.
Registration went smoothly. We each got the classes we wanted, which supposedly almost never happened for freshmen, so we were ecstatic.
Then back to the room to prepare for my date with Brad.