Never had a man looked at me the way Ryan Steel was looking at me now. Like he wanted to eat me alive. I couldn’t decide whether it disturbed me, frightened me, or excited me.
Honestly, all three.
I wanted to get back to my room and continue the research I’d begun last night. My father was nowhere to be found, of course, but a lot was coming out in the wake of Tom Simpson’s death.
But not now. Not this week. Not until we got home.
I couldn’t burden any of them with this during our vacation. I needed the vacation as much as the rest of them did. So why was it that all I could think about was getting back to my research?
I let out a chuckle.
Because of the man sitting next to me. I needed an escape. An escape from him and the feelings he evoked in my mind and my body.
Needed an escape.
Not wanted an escape.
Oh, God.
“What’s so funny?” Ryan asked.
“Nothing.”
“I distinctly heard you laugh.”
“It’s just nervousness.”
“Why are you nervous?”
Because the most magnificent man I’ve ever laid eyes on is watching me eat? “I don’t know.”
“You just had a killer workout. You should be floating in endorphins right now. I know I am.”
He was. I could see it. He was as relaxed as anything. He was endorphins on steroids. Did anything ever get to him?
“How do you do it?” I asked.
“Do what?” He took a mouthful of omelet.
“Stay so calm. After all you and your family have been through.”
His countenance became serious. “I owe my brother everything. I never forget that.”
“I know that. I didn’t mean to presume that you didn’t. But you’re always in a good mood. Always smiling. How do you manage?”
“I try to focus on the present. Tal is getting married. He’s healing. Two of the monsters have been caught.”
Monsters. One of those monsters, the one still out there, was my father. That fact always hovered around me, always colored my life.
“I’m lucky, I guess,” he continued. “I’ve never been prone to the darkness that Joe and Talon are. That my mother was. I guess I take after my dad more than my mom.”
“Your dad was always happy?”
He laughed. “I wouldn’t say that. He could pack a mean punch. Figuratively, I mean. He didn’t hit us. But he demanded our respect and didn’t put up with any shit. So he wasn’t always happy. But he wasn’t prone to darkness either.”
“But your brothers were?”
“Yeah. Joe always was. Talon was after he was taken. Understandable.”