“I didn’t come here to talk.” He grabbed me and pulled me into him.
“What are you doing?”
“This.” He crushed his lips to mine.
I’d kissed Ryan many times before. Sometimes the kisses were passionate with ferocity, sometimes gentle and loving. This was neither.
This kiss was punishing.
While his urgency and physical manner scared me, I couldn’t pull away. Not now. Not after I was partially responsible for how he was feeling right now.
After a few seconds, he was the one to pull away. “Goddamnit, Ruby, kiss me back.”
Hadn’t I been?
No, I’d been cowering, trying to release the tension, trying to resist the urge to pull away. Being forced into something did not sit well with me, given my history. Probably even not given my history.
But this was Ryan Steel. The man I loved, though he didn’t know that yet. In my heart, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me.
So I opened to him, let him plow into my mouth with his tongue.
Yes, this was punishment, as sure as if he were taking me over his knee and spanking me. He was blaming me for what he knew. Blaming me for my part in it.
And he was right.
I’d take his punishment. Endure what he had in store for me. And hope like hell we’d be okay afterward.
He deepened the kiss, groaning into my mouth. It was primal, driven solely by instinct, and a few minutes later, when he broke the kiss with a loud smack, we were both breathless.
“Bedroom?” he rasped.
I pointed to the closed door off my living room. He pushed me toward it and opened the door. My double bed wasn’t made. I wasn’t much of a housekeeper, and my tiny apartment was smaller than his bedroom. But in Ryan’s current mood, he no doubt wouldn’t mind.
He pushed me onto the bed. “Take off your clothes.”
Rattling commenced in my nerves. I didn’t move.
Show Daddy how much you love him. Now take off those clothes.
“Did you hear me? I said take off your clothes.”
I closed my eyes and exhaled. He’s not your father, Ruby. He’s the man you love. He’s hurting. He needs you. He won’t hurt you.
I began to unbutton my crisp cotton shirt, my fingers shaking. You can say no, Ruby. You can stop this at any time.
But did I want to? I could say no, and I felt sure he would stop.
Sad truth.
I didn’t want to say no.
I wanted this as much as he did, maybe even for the same reasons. Anger. Punishment.
I was angry at this outcome too, that Ryan Steel had been misled his whole life about his true parentage. I was angry at myself for not insisting he be told ahead of time.
I was angry at my father for making me afraid of men for so long.
Ryan Steel was not a man I was afraid of. He was a man I loved, and I would give him anything—anything—within my power if he needed it.