“Because it’s not so much about power. If she doesn’t like what I’m doing, she can stop the scene at any time. If I don’t like how things are going, I can stop. It really doesn’t have anything to do with power. The power is equal between us.”
Jonah’s words struck a chord within me. Power. That was the problem I was having with this, with surrendering to him. I was afraid of giving up my power.
But if what he said was true, I wouldn’t be giving up any power, and neither would he. The power would be equal between us. All I needed to do was trust him—trust that he would never harm me.
And I did. I trusted Jonah Steel with my heart, my life.
Now was the time to take myself back.
Chapter Eighteen
Jonah
Melanie stared at me, her green eyes as beautiful as ever, nibbling on that luscious lower lip of hers. That red lip, the lip I had taken between my teeth and bitten on so many occasions, that I had run my tongue over, that I had kissed with wild abandon as well as soft sweetness.
She was beautiful, my Melanie. Beautiful and strong and brilliant.
She had asked me questions in her innocence, and I had answered them to the best of my ability. Had I made a mistake in doing so? I had to believe that I hadn’t. If we were meant to be together, we had to know each other unequivocally. There could be no barriers between us.
I understood that now.
And now I had the answer to the question she had asked at the beginning of this conversation. Was there a part of me that wanted to see her naked, bound, at my mercy?
She probably already knew the answer.
I had fought my baser desires, and I knew I could be happy just making love with her for the rest of our lives. After all, making love took many forms. If my intimate time with her was simply vanilla sex, I could handle that. Giving her up was not an option, and it never would be.
But now was the time for me to be honest. She trusted me, and I owed her that much.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips to her peachy cheek.
I pulled back.
“I hope this doesn’t scare you,” I said, “but the answer to your original question is ‘yes.’ There is a part of me that longs for your submission. I hunger for it, Melanie. I hunger for those feelings that I have when I’m taking control of another person, but not only because it’s so arousing for me. It’s more than that. It’s because this i
s part of me, and I want to share with you everything I am.”
She smiled. “I can’t say I understand every bit of it, but I want so much to make you happy.”
She fingered the beautiful diamond choker around her neck—the one I had bought weeks ago, the one I had originally planned to give to her as a formal collar, denoting the Dominant and submissive relationship between us.
I had decided to give it to her anyway, regardless of whether we ever had that kind of relationship. It sparkled around her alabaster skin, and I knew no one else could ever wear it, no matter what kind of relationship she and I ended up with. The piece was made for her. No matter what happened between us, I hoped with all my heart she would never remove it.
“I want to make you happy too, baby. So no pressure. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this room. I was being honest when I told you I hadn’t used it in years and that I had eventually planned to get rid of it.”
“I believe you. But if this is a part of who you are, you shouldn’t have to get rid of it for me. It wouldn’t be fair of me to ask you to do that, and I don’t want you to.”
“I understand,” I said, “but we don’t have to use this room. I am perfectly happy making love with you the way we normally do in our bedroom.”
She smiled. “You said ‘our bedroom.’”
I returned her smile. “It is our bedroom, sweetheart. Everything in this house is yours as well as mine. I can’t imagine ever wanting another woman.”
She stroked my cheek with her soft fingertips. “And I can’t imagine ever wanting another man.”
I leaned forward and took her lips with mine, sliding them open with my tongue. She met my kiss with sweet eagerness. The kiss became more passionate, and when I finally broke it to take a breath, her green eyes were alight with fire.
“Show me, Jonah. Show me what you do in this room.”