Tears fell from my eyes, liquid poured from my nose, and soon I was congested. I was racking with sobs. I threw myself down onto the comforter on the air bed, weeping into it.
What would that have done to Talon? What would it have done?
Strong hands did not caress my body. Talon did not offer me comfort. I didn’t expect him to. This was self-indulgence, pure and simple. I needed to get hold of myself. This was not about me. This was about Talon. This was not about the tattoo I hadn’t gotten, thank God. How selfish was I?
I gulped down my last sob and sat back up. “I’m so sorry, Talon. I don’t know what came over me.”
“It’s okay, blue eyes. It’s okay to cry for me. For a long time I thought it wasn’t okay. I thought it made me weak. But I’ve shed my share of tears since then—during therapy and just dealing with it on my own.”
“You said you didn’t want my pity.”
“I don’t. But if those tears come from your love for me, how can I hate them? I love you, and I’m sorry you have to hurt because of what happened to me.”
“Oh, Talon, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who’s sorry. Thank God I didn’t get that tattoo.”
“I’ve been thinking, blue eyes. Maybe you should get a tattoo. Maybe I should too. Maybe we can pick out something together.”
I sniffed. “That would be nice, Talon. But I know you’re not really into tattoos.”
“I’m into you, blue eyes. Tattoos are important to you, and I can’t let what happened to me rule my life. Getting a tattoo might be a good way of showing myself that it doesn’t.”
“Let’s not rush into anything, okay?” I said. “We have all the time in the world. It doesn’t matter whether we get a tattoo tomorrow or ten years from now or never. What matters is that you are here, and you’re healing, and I’m here, and I love you, and I want to be with you more than anything in the whole world.”
Then Talon turned to me, his gaze meeting mine, his eyes dark and burning, tears brimming.
I could see he was trying to choke them back. I touched his face, skimming one away. “It’s okay, Talon. Everything is going to be okay.”
And then this man—this strong, beautiful, amazing man who’d had his innocence ripped from him at such a tender age yet was a hero to so many—cried in my arms.
* * *
Later, I lay awake in my own room at the ranch house. I desperately wanted to sleep next to Talon in his bed, but I didn’t ask. He wasn’t ready for that yet, and though I knew in my heart and soul that he would never harm me, he wasn’t sure. And I wasn’t about to push him.
My heart was still breaking. I couldn’t even imagine what had truly gone on. I knew he’d glossed over a lot of it for my sake. I had wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to, that I could take it, but I had been determined not to interrupt him, to let him say what he needed to say, the way he needed to say it.
Eventually I must’ve fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and light was streaming in through the window. I woke up and hopped in the shower, washing my hair and body. After toweling off, I sneaked into Marj’s room and grabbed a robe again. She was still in the city because she had cooking class today.
I went to the kitchen, started a pot of coffee, and then crept silently down the hallway to the other end of the house to Talon’s room. I opened the door slowly and quietly. I walked to the sitting area and into the bedroom. He was asleep on his back, his arms strewn over his forehead in his custom sleeping position. Roger lay at his feet, his head bobbing up at my entrance.
“Hey there, boy,” I whispered.
Roger panted.
I didn’t want to wake Talon. He was no doubt emotionally spent. So I decided to creep back out.
“Come on, boy,” I said to Roger. “You need to go out?”
The little dog hopped up off the bed and followed me. As I walked out of the bedroom and the sitting room, I heard a voice.
“Blue eyes?”
I turned back in. Talon’s dark eyes were open.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I just thought the dog might need to go out.”
“Okay. Yeah, let him out. And then come back in here. I want to hold you.”
I smiled. Sounded good to me. I let Roger out the back and then filled up a bowl of water for him and set it on the deck. Then I went back to Talon.