“It is. But Jade isn’t your little sister. She didn’t grow up looking up to you, having you as a protector. For Marjorie, her strong older brother has suddenly become—”
“Just stop right there. Don’t say ‘an object of pity.’”
“No, of course not. What I was going to say is that you’ve become someone even stronger to her now. And she can’t bear the thought of you ever being in pain.”
“Why would Jade react any differently?”
“Oh, she’ll have the same kind of issues. She won’t want to think of you being in any kind of pain, because she loves you. But you’re an equal to her. You’re not her big brother. It’s a different relationship.”
“I just don’t want her to pity me.”
“Then tell her that. She loves you. She doesn’t want to hurt you, and if her pity would hurt you, she won’t do it.”
“Doc. Do you…pity me?”
“That’s a loaded question.” She sighed. “I feel very bad that you had to go through what you did. But this is my line of work, Talon. You’re not the first patient I’ve seen who suffered a trauma during childhood. And if it helps you, you’re not the worst case I’ve seen, either.”
Oddly, that didn’t help. Knowing innocent children had lived through worse than I had made me ill. “The person or persons who had a worse time than I did, did they heal? Did they come out of it?”
“Two of them did. And they’re leading very successful lives now. But there was one other.”
I didn’t like where this was going, but I had opened the door. “What happened?”
Dr. Carmichael’s eyes glistened. “She wasn’t strong enough. She took her own life.”
“God. I’m sorry, Doc.”
“It’s an eye-opening day for a therapist, when you realize that there are some people you just can’t help, no matter how hard you try. If I were perfect at my job, perhaps I could’ve helped her. Or perhaps no therapist on earth could have helped her. I’ll never know.”
“I’m so sorry.”
She sniffed. “It’s part of what I do. Not everything can be a success. Doctors lose patients. Businessmen don’t always get the deals they want. Lawyers lose cases. It’s no different for me. Therapists can’t help everyone.”
“Still…”
“It’s okay, Talon. I’ve made my peace with it. Or at least as well as I can. I have more successes than I do failures.”
“What do you think my outcome will be?”
“I think you’re going to be fine. I really do. You’ve come so far already.”
I rubbed my temple. “So now we’ve come full circle. It’s time to tell Jade.”
“Yes, I think it is.”
“What if she can’t deal with it? What if she leaves me?”
“I don’t think she will. But if you want to play the ‘what if’ game, what if she does? All that tells you is that she wasn’t the person you thought she was. And you’re better off knowing before you get in any deeper.”
“She’s told me that whatever it is it won’t matter to her. That nothing will ever make her stop loving me.”
“Then trust in that. Because if you want a relationship with her, you’re going to have to bare your soul.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jade
Talon invited me over Friday night for dinner. Although I had planned to drive up to the city to see my mom, my dad assured me that everything was fine and told me to have a good time with Talon. Plus, Marj would be in the city for cooking class, and she had promised to stop by to see my mother and give me a detailed report.