A brick hit me in the gut. What had I done? I flew into a rage, wanting to beat the shit out of anyone who made her cry.
And then it dawned on me.
I had made her cry.
“What do you want?” she asked.
“Can I come in? I need to talk to you.”
“Sure. Yeah, I agree. We should talk.” She opened the door wider, turned, walked back to her bed, and sat down.
I thought about sitting next to her on the bed, but I couldn’t be that close to her. I didn’t trust myself. So I grabbed an armchair from the corner and scooted it toward the bed.
“So what did you want to talk about?” She grabbed a tissue from her nightstand and blew her nose.
“Well…about last night…”
She nodded. “Yeah?”
“I want to apologize for…”
She arched her eyebrows.
“For not using a condom.”
Her eyes popped open into circles. “That’s what you want to apologize for?”
“Yeah. It was really irresponsible. And I want to make sure—”
“Let me guess,” she cut in. “You want to make sure I’m not harboring some disgusting disease that I might’ve infected you with.”
“Well, yeah…”
“Jesus Christ.” She shook her head.
“What did you think I wanted to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know. The fact that we just had sex, perhaps? The fact that you basically told me it meant nothing? The fact that I know that’s bullshit?”
“So you’re saying that safe sex isn’t important?”
“Oh, for God’s sake, Talon. Of course safe sex is important. You have nothing to fear from me. I have been monogamous the last seven years, and I’ve been on the pill for the last ten. You know I just ended a long relationship. I’m the one who should be concerned about you.”
“You certainly weren’t concerned last night, because you didn’t insist that I use a condom.”
She let out a huff. “Absolutely right. I got lost in the moment. It was stupid, and it was irresponsible. But I promise you, I do not have HIV. I do not have herpes. I do not have gonorrhea or syphilis or chlamydia. I do not have any other disgusting little mite growing down there.”
“All right.”
She was telling the truth. I knew it. Her face had turned pink, and more tears flooded her eyes.
I was a jerk.
“But since you’re so concerned,” she continued, “why don’t give me a rundown on your sexual history? I would bet it’s way more exciting than mine.”
My sexual history… She had no idea. But I was clean. I always used condoms, and I got tested for everything every six months, whether I’d been active or not. Maybe it was a little OCD, but I couldn’t help it. “I was last tested two months ago. I can show you the results if you’d like.”
“The results don’t mean jack shit if you had sex with someone other than me in the last two months.”