‘Amy?’ His voice was so fierce it made her jump out of her skin. ‘What are you thinking about? John? Has he put that look on your face? Do you have to conjure him up like a weird amulet to protect yourself from the contamination of my presence?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ She forced her face to go blank, removing all emotion from her features which seemed to have the capability to betray her just when she needed to be strong. ‘I want to start a new life, Blade, and I want you to do the same. That’s all there is to it.’
‘I want, I want.’ His voice dripped acid. ‘There are a darn sight too many “I wants” in your vocabulary, Amy. Well, I have no intention of making this easy for you so chew on that, honey. I can play clean or dirty and I’m damned good at both.’
‘I don’t doubt it,’ she said quietly, as her heart pounded so hard she was sure he could hear it. ‘But I shall get my divorce either way.’
‘That you will.’ There was a hot flicker in the back of his eyes that unnerved her but she took his words at face value and nodded slowly.
‘That’s all I want.’
‘Those two little words again,’ he said silkily. ‘What a determined little female you are.’ She suddenly had the most intense and uncomfortable feeling that through all the talk and overt mockery, that cool and piercingly intelligent mind was ticking away on quite a different sphere altogether. Was she fooling him? She looked deep into the hard face but could read nothing. She wasn’t sure any more …
‘Can we go back now?’ She raised her chin proudly.
‘Of course.’ He smiled mockingly. ‘It would be ungallant to refuse such a beautiful lady anything, especially as she happens to be my wife.’ The black eyes were deadly. ‘You have nothing more to say to me?’
‘No.’ She held the lethal gaze bravely.
‘Then the choice is yours.’ He smiled slowly but the twist to his mouth chilled her blood. ‘Lovers not friends. That’s how you want it?’
‘No!’ She glared at him angrily. ‘We won’t be lovers again, you know that. There’s nothing between us, Blade, not any more—’
‘Unlike you, I do not go back on my word, Amy,’ he said with deliberate laziness. ‘I’ve told you how it will be. You’ll want me as much as I want you. You doubt it?’
‘I want to go back to the car.’
‘So you said.’ He made no effort to touch her on the short walk back to the parked car, not even when she stumbled and almost fell. Indeed, he seemed to be almost unaware of her presence as he strolled along at her side, his face cool and closed against her and his powerful body loose-limbed and easy.
She glanced at his face once as he opened the passenger door for her to slide in, but it was distant and withdrawn, a stranger’s face in an alien world where there were no colours, just the dank cold grey that had invaded every pore in her body. The numb misery that had gripped her mind since that fateful meeting with Sandra had intensified since she had seen him again. She wouldn’t have thought it was possible but it had.
But she was fortunate. The little talk she gave herself periodically had no power even to touch her mind as she sat silent and small in the powerful car. She was fortunate. She had years left before the disease reared its head, long years in which to travel, to explore this beautiful world, to live. What about the children who were born with crippling disabilities, who never had the chance to live as she had? She was fortunate. She wanted to press her knuckles against her pounding forehead but restrained herself. Lots of people were struck down with no warning; she had been given time. Precious, precious time. She glanced at the stiff figure at her side. But she would gladly give up every second of that precious time just to spend one day with him as his wife without the knowledge of this thing hanging over her.
Thank goodness she hadn’t conceived his child. That thought had tormented her for weeks until her body’s cycle had given reassurance. They had seen no reason to take precautions in the three months in which they had been married. They both wanted children, ‘at least ten’, Blade had informed her wickedly on their wedding-night after the consummation of their marriage, and with Blade’s enormous wealth the normal financial considerations that dogged young newlyweds hadn’t applied to them. But the rogue gene that was dormant in boys and attacked little girls couldn’t, mustn’t, be passed knowingly to another generation.
Life was strange. She bit her lip hard as she thought. In just a few months she had met both ends of the spectrum, Sandra’s hate and rage and Blade’s love. But now the latter was past tense.