“But you told me not to ever do that again.”
“You shouldn’t, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand the significance of it. What did you think this was about if you didn’t think I was in love with you?”
“Sex? Fun? Protection? A really hot game?”
“I don’t play games like this. I would never say the things I’ve said to you to another man.”
I shifted position, straddling him. “That’s good because I don’t want anyone but you, and I want all of you.”
“I want all of you too. I don’t need to know everything about the ugliness in your past, but I want you to tell me all your dreams for the future and all the things that make you who you are.”
“It’s been a while since I’ve really thought about that. I’ve kind of just been existing.”
“You’re going to have so much more than that now.”
For the first time in a really long time, I thought that might actually be true. I hoped to hell I wasn’t fooling myself. Maybe I wasn’t. My instincts told me I was allowed to relax around Dax. I realized the whole time we’d been at his house I hadn’t thought about anything but him—and the wonderful and terrible things he might do to me. It had been ages since I’d gone that long without worrying about my safety, my future, and all the wrong things I’d done.
“I’d like to travel. I want to see more and experience more. I thought I would get to do that if I found a man who would take me away from Beau.”
“You found the wrong man. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I haven’t done enough traveling either. I told you how I ended up in the role I have in the family. Some of my work has taken me to Central and South America a few times, but mostly I’ve been right here. I love New Orleans, but there are lots of places I’d like to see too.”
“Remington won’t like that.”
Dax grinned. “Remington needs to get out more himself.”
“Isn’t he the big boss now?”
“More and more my uncle is resisting interfering, but if we’re not in the middle of a crisis, there’s no reason why Remy shouldn’t be able to take some time for himself with Henri. What’s the point of all this money if we don’t ever use it?”
“If you’ve really been thinking about taking time away…”
“I have. I was afraid I might have pushed myself too far. That I’d gotten so used to the violence, to hurting people, that maybe I wasn’t fit for normal society anymore.”
“But now you don’t feel that way?”
“You helped me change my mind. If I can love you, then the part of me I thought might be destroyed isn’t.”
“So where would you want to go?”
“Anywhere that you are.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s a little much.”
Dax laughed. “Spain. Italy. Maybe a Mediterranean cruise.”
“Wow. You think big.”
“I’m sitting on a fortune, babe. The only thing I’ve really spend money on is my house and my weapons, so you can think as big as you want.”
“That sounds wonderful. I never thought I would be able to see all those places. I was just hoping I might be able to drive out west and see the desert. I’d like to experience something really different from the swamp.”
“We can do that too. I like the thought of me and you in an RV.”
Heat filled my face as I imagined us snuggled together in a too-small bed. “We might get kicked out of the campgrounds.”
Dax laughed. “I could handle it. Are you hungry? Because I’m starving.”
I leaned back and looked him slowly up and down. “It must take a lot of fuel for you to keep that body going.”
“It does, and teaching you a lesson really wore me out.”
“It wore you out?”
Laughing, he picked me up again. This time he lowered me to my feet right away. “Let’s go see what we have.”
“Shouldn’t we get dressed first?”
I suppose so. It’s nice to have the windows open and let some light in, and we don’t want to scare my neighbors. You go ahead and shower and get dressed. I’ll get started in the kitchen.”
I came to the kitchen dressed in one of Dax’s t-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants that were threatening to swallow me whole. He was at the stove, grilling ham and cheese sandwiches.
When he looked at me over his shoulder, he grinned. “Damn. I like you in my clothes.”
“Your clothes are a little ridiculous on me, but you didn’t exactly give me time to pack when you dragged me over here.”
“We’ll take care of that later. Sit down. These are almost ready. It’s nothing fancy, but—”
“Remember, I’ve been living on Ramen noodles and boxed mac and cheese.”
Dax shook his head. “I still don’t understand how you lived in the middle of nowhere all that time and never learned how to cook.”