“I do, but I also want what’s best for you. Maybe you should try to get some rest, and I should stay on guard outside.”
I turned toward the door, but Travis stopped me from leaving.
“Dax, I talked to Beau. I told him everything… or at least enough for him to understand. I don’t ever want to relive all of that.”
He needed comfort. I couldn’t possibly walk away now. I pulled him into my arms, and he rested his head against my chest. “It’s okay. You don’t need to tell us the details. It’s just good that he knows you wouldn’t have willingly hurt him.”
“Talking to him made me realize something.”
“What’s that?” My heart pounded. I was afraid I wouldn’t like what he was going to say. I’d just told myself I wasn’t right for him, but now that he was in my arms again, I didn’t want to let him go. Was he going to tell me he needed a fresh start, one that didn’t involve me?
“I realized you were right.”
I instinctively squeezed him tighter. “Right about what?”
“I’m not a bad person. I could let myself have something good, something that I wanted.” His voice shook as he said the words, and I pulled back to encourage him to look up at me.
“Travis, that is absolutely true. If you need time to think about what you want, if you need—”
“What I need is you.”
“Are you sure? There’s darkness in me, Travis, and you deserve to be in the light.”
“You do a dark job, but it’s not always for a terrible purpose.”
“Sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s just because someone crossed us.”
“Those people you hurt, are they good people, or have they done far worse than you would ever contemplate?”
“They’re not good, but I’m not either.”
“Good or bad, you’re right for me.”
“How do you know that? I meant every word I said to you earlier, but it’s been such a short time.”
Travis shook his head. “It’s been years. I’ve wanted you since I was way too young to feel that way.”
I’d suspected he might’ve had a crush on me the last few times I’d seen him, but at that point, I’d still thought of him like a little brother. Then I’d seen him again, and… Wow. Before I could think of the right thing to say, Travis went to his knees in front of me.
“I’m yours, Dax. I want you to claim me, and for the first time in a long time, I think maybe I could deserve to be happy.”
“I want you to be happy. I want that so much.”
His smile warmed me all over. “No one has ever made me happy like you do.”
Travis reached for the fastenings of my pants. There were so many things I should say, but I couldn’t speak then. All I could do was watch, fascinated as he pulled my cock from my pants, took it into his mouth, and encouraged me to slide my fingers into his hair. I kept my hold on him, but I wasn’t rough the way I’ve been before.
He took me deep and licked and sucked me. I didn’t think I’d ever felt anything better. I’d gotten blow jobs from plenty of men, but it had always been either a race to come or rough and harsh because I knew that was what the guy wanted, and it was what I’d needed. Travis had wanted that too earlier, but I didn’t think that was what either of us needed now. He seemed to want to explore me, and I let him until I was so close to coming I didn’t know if I could hold back.
I pulled away from him, not wanting this to be over too soon. I wanted to savor every moment with him because I still worried that the more he found out about me, the more he saw my darker side and realized exactly what I was willing to do, the greater the chance he would eventually label me a monster like so many others and walk away.
I reached for Travis, pulled him to his feet, then encouraged him to walk backward until we were both standing on the rug in front of the couch. “Lie down on your back.”
He looked apprehensive, but he did what I said. “Don’t worry. You’ll get my dick again.”
I shoved my pants down, nearly falling in my haste to get my boots off, then I straddled his shoulders, letting my cock dangle close to his mouth. When he reached for it, I raised up. “Not yet.”
He moaned, and it nearly did me in.
15
Travis
I reached up, trying to pull Dax down to me. I needed more of him, more of his taste, more of him taking charge, more assurance that he wasn’t going to walk away from this, but he was much too strong for me. No matter how hard I gripped his ass and tried to pull him down to my mouth, he stayed immobile.