Mom nods before retreating a step to search my face. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Her voice turns hesitant. “Do you want to talk about it? Every time I ask, you brush me off.”
Guilt slices through me as I glance away. She’s not wrong. Even though there’s not much to what happened in his office, I’m still unclear if I perpetuated the situation and led him on. When it comes down to it, I agreed to dinner, drank wine with him, and allowed him to input his number into my phone. when he sat too close at the coffee shop, I didn’t move away. When he texted during class, I didn’t tell him it made me uncomfortable.
And I should have.
In hindsight, all of these incidents stick out like a brightly flashing neon sign. Just like I told Carson, I’m embarrassed by my own stupidity.
Pushing away the ugly memories, I release a steady breath. “I appreciate you asking, Mom. But I’m not ready to discuss it right now. I just need a little time to process what happened.”
As soon as the words escape from my lips, she tugs me back into the warm circle of her arms and holds me close. “Oh, Elle. I hope you realize that you didn’t do anything wrong.”
That’s what everyone keeps telling me. But if that’s true, then why does it feel like I did?
“I know.” It’s so much easier to agree with the sentiment than argue.
“When you’re up to it, I think it’s important that you speak with a professional who can help you work through your feelings. If you don’t want to talk with the counselor at the university, then we’ll get a referral and find someone else.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I say vaguely, uncomfortable with the idea of sitting down with a total stranger to discuss something so personal. Then again, maybe it would be easier to talk with someone who doesn’t know me. It’s a lot to think about. And right now, I’m not ready.
Looking as if she wants to argue, Mom presses her lips together as concern brims in her eyes. I really wish there were something I could do to wipe it away. I’m tired of her, Brayden, Carson, Sydney, and Mike staring at me like that.
“It’s really not that big of a deal, okay?”
“But it is,” she says softly. “One of your professors tried to coerce you into a sexual relationship, and that’s not okay.”
“You’re right. He tried, but he didn’t succeed.”
She squeezes my hand. “Your father would be proud of you for handling the situation the way you did.”
My lips lift a fraction. “You can thank Brayden for teaching me how to knee a guy.”
“Already have,” she says, pressing a kiss against my forehead. “What Dad would be proud about is that you went straight to the administration instead of sweeping the incident under the rug and pretending it never occurred.”
As difficult as it had been, there’s no way I could slink off and do that. How could I live with myself if he tried to take advantage of another student and I could have stopped him?
“I love you, Elle.”
Her softly spoken voice knocks me out of my tangled thoughts and does the impossible—lightens my heart. No matter what happens in life, I’ll always have my family. And that means everything.
“I love you, too.”
She slips an arm around my waist. “Just promise that if you need to talk, you’ll reach out.” Before I can respond, she tacks on, “And if you’re not comfortable doing that with me, then you’ll speak to a counselor.”
My shoulders fall. “I promise.”
“All right.”
With her arm wrapped tightly around me, we walk into the kitchen. The rich scent of beef stroganoff permeates the air. It’s normally one of my favorite dishes, but I haven’t had much of an appetite lately.
“It smells delicious,” I say, sliding onto one of the stools tucked under the long stretch of island.
She glances at me before moving to the stove and pulling off the cover, stirring the meat sauce. “I made it especially for you.”
“Thanks.”
“After everything...” Her voice trails off and she clears her throat. “I thought it might make you feel better.”
“It does.”
She nods, hustling to the marble counter and grabbing a bag of egg noodles before dumping them into an oversized pot of boiling water.
“I’m glad you and Brayden are finally on speaking terms again. I don’t want there to be a rift between the two of you.”
I stare at my fingers as they twist on the counter. “I know.”
It wouldn’t have happened without Carson. He’s the one who called Brayden while I clung to him and retold the story. Within ten minutes, he was at the union with Sydney in tow. She wrapped me up in her arms and held on tight, all the while whispering that it wasn’t my fault. She might be my brother’s girlfriend, but I really hope that one day, she’ll be part of our family. They’ve only been dating a month or so and already, I love her fiercely.