He was grateful that she had the courage and was willing to hear him out. If she did learn to crave pain with pleasure, she would need it, would always have to have it in order to be truly satisfied physically. That had been his hesitation all along. Taking her down this path with him meant she would be all in, no going back. He wanted her to know, no matter what, no matter how tough things got, once they were committed, he was just as committed, and he would work things out. Make it work between them.
“It’s important you know that once you’re in, you don’t get out. We work things out. I’ll stay, Seychelle. I’ll be faithful. I’ll be committed to making you happy. But we don’t divorce. We make it work.”
“That might be difficult, Savage, when I have no idea what any of this means. You tend to be a dictator when you want your way.”
That was the truth, and it always would be. He traced his name on her hip. “It’s always going to be my way, baby. You know that. You’re going to do things the way I need them done. That’s the only way I can stay sane. I’m being honest with you. I need certain things in my life, and I have to have them. That means you give them to me. I need your obedience.”
“Like a child?”
“No, not like a child.” How could he explain? Make her understand? “When I say that, I mean you do what you enjoy doing, but you follow the rules when you’re doing it. You have to trust me enough to know I’ll always see to your happiness, but if you don’t do what I say, there’s going to be consequences.”
“Like?”
“Like what you’ve already earned. You got drunk and you almost went off with another man. I told you to go home and you didn’t do it.”
“We weren’t together.” She waved her hand dismissively.
He wasn’t buying it. “We were together. You came to the club. I laid it out for you. I was plain when I laid that out. You knew when you walked in the bar that you were stating you chose me. I had already told you I had chosen you. You were scared, and you ran. You didn’t trust me. That earns you a punishment.”
“I’m not five. Why in the world would you want to punish me?”
“Because I like it.” His hand curled around her thigh, his fingers pressing deep while he confessed. She had to know what he was. She had to live with it—with him. With his darkest needs. “I even crave it. Right now, my cock is a fuckin’ steel rod because I know I’m going to put my handprints on your ass. You’re going to cry when I do. You’ll beg me to stop, and I’m going to get even harder because I can’t resist your tears or your pleas. I’ll take your tears away, one by one, and make it all better by making you scream my name when you come.”
There was a long silence. He didn’t move. He didn’t look up at her face. He couldn’t. For a moment he couldn’t even find air to breathe. His lungs burned. He went back to writing his name on her bare skin. Savage. Then her name. Seychelle. His heart pounded. He’d just laid it on the line. Told her how fucked up he was. That wasn’t even close to how fucked up he was. There was no getting around it. Not now. Not ever. He craved that shit. Needed it the way he needed to breathe air.
“You’re going to hurt me?” Her voice was soft. Small. Afraid.
He took a breath. Found the strawberries. “Yes. Sometimes. When you fuck up.”
“Hit me? You’re going to beat me up?”
He turned his head, his jaw sliding across her soft belly. He stroked the curve of her hip. His eyes met hers. Her fear was visible in her eyes, in the expression on her face. Her lips trembled, and she twisted her fingers in the sheet beside her hips. But that wasn’t the only thing in her eyes. There was a flicker of excitement. Desire. A cautious dark anticipation. He hated that his cock responded, throbbing with expectation. With urgent demand. It felt like fuckin’ paradise and yet was hell at the same time. He knew absolutely, if he slid his hand up her thigh into her panties, he would find her slick with heat.
“I would never beat you, Seychelle. Or hit you in anger. I’m not talking about that kind of relationship, and I think you know that. I’m saying you fuck up by disobeying one of my rules, I’m going to put you across my knee and leave my handprints on your ass. I’m warning you ahead of time, I’ll enjoy it. I’m also going to tell you, you will learn to enjoy it as well. Not all of it, but in the end, you’ll be craving everything I give you.”