As she entered the room behind him, he didn’t look at her as he said, “Sit.”
She sat at the granite cook top island in the middle of the kitchen and leaned back against the swivel chair. It didn’t hurt too badly where that jerk had kicked her, but it was uncomfortable. First Jay set a glass of water and two over the counter pills for headaches in front of her—but still wouldn’t look at her. The back of her skull ached dully from where her hair had been yanked and her ribs throbbed so she gladly took them.
Watching Jay’s backside as he opened the freezer, she felt her face flushing as she remembered what they’d done that morning right on this floor, and looked away from him. It wouldn’t do to start thinking about the way he’d buried his face between her legs and… She closed her eyes and mentally shook herself. Now that she wanted to think of anything but that, it was all she could envision.
At the sound of him clearing his throat, she opened her eyes to find him hovering above her, almost cautiously. Damp washcloth and ice pack in hand, his jaw was tight. “Can you take off your shirt?” The raspy, unsteady quality of his voice surprised her, but she did as he asked, unbuttoning the only two buttons that hadn’t been ripped off.
After taking it off, she crumpled the shirt into a ball and set it on the counter. It would be going in the trash because getting it mended wasn’t an option. She never wanted to see it again.
His gaze intense on hers, Jay reached out with one hand and gently pressed against her already bruising ribs. The blackish-purple color was light, but she knew it would get worse with time. “How bad is it?” he asked softly, that stare unnerving.
“Not too bad.” Oddly enough, she liked having his hand on her, even in such a tender area.
“I should go back and kill him,” he growled before wrapping the ice pack in the thin washcloth.
Reaching out, Ellie grabbed his wrist. “Don’t.” She was unable to keep the fear out of her voice. If Jay did something and got sent to jail, or worse, because of her… Her throat tightened and those damn tears threatened again.
Jay let out a curse and sat next to her on one of the other swivel chairs. Her throat tightened at the loss of him touching her. Then he surprised her by reaching out and cupping her cheek in one of his big hands. He swiped a callused thumb across her cheek and caught a stray tear she wasn’t able to blink back. “I’ve been taking care of myself for a long damn time. I’m not scared of scum like that.” He handed her the wrapped icepack which she gratefully took.
Pressing it against her side, she shivered from the cold. She felt so vulnerable and exposed sitting there in her skimpy bra and skirt.
Jay took a deep breath, as if he was trying to contain the anger she could still see simmering in his green eyes. “It’s time to talk. Why’d you run and leave the shittiest note in the world for me to find?”
She swallowed at the now completely unconcealed anger vibrating through his voice. She knew she had no choice but to tell him everything. “This morning I received a call from an ex boyfriend. We were together when I was seventeen, but he…” Oh, god, this was so embarrassing, but she forged ahead, needing to get it all out at once. “He got sent to prison for felony robbery and thanks to Nevada’s three-strike rule he was supposed to have been sent away for a long time. I have no idea how he’s out so soon, but he was only in for a little over eight years.”
Jay frowned now, his expression darkening. “Have you talked to him since he’s been in?”
She shook her head. “Not since I was seventeen. He called collect a few times, but…I wanted to leave him and everything in my past behind when I started college.” She left out how she felt she’d deserved to be with someone like Kevin. How it was her fault her sister had gotten killed and how she probably deserved to go to jail for the money she’d used for school.
“So after eight years he calls you after allegedly no contact and you run. Why?” An angry, demanding question.
At the word alleged, her temper spiked, the flare inside her enough that she slammed the icepack on the counter. “It’s not alleged! I haven’t talked to him in years. I hate him, Jay. But, I…I have something of his. He asked me to hide it for him so I did.” Shame filled her, forcing her to look down at her lap. Clasping her hands tightly, she focused on them, watching the way her knuckles turned white. For a moment she wondered why Jay wasn’t asking what it was she had, but she quickly realized it was because he wouldn’t push her on that point.
Swallowing hard, she met those piercing green eyes even though she didn’t want to. “He stole five hundred thousand dollars before he got sent to prison for that robbery.” Jay muttered a curse, but she continued. “Kevin was always greedy. He’d just gotten the score of a lifetime and wanted more. It was always more with him.” Something she’d only seen in hindsight once she’d been a little older.
“So you still have his money?”
“Most of it.” Oh yeah, it was time to come clean, even knowing he’d judge her for the decisions she’d made.
His eyebrows raised at that, but he didn’t ask the question she was going to answer anyway. “I’m fifty thousand short. I used about a hundred to pay for school.”
He blinked, clearly surprised.
And she felt her defenses rising. “It’s how I was able to attend school full time and finish so early. Without having to work I took more than a full load of classes each semester—and had pretty much no life because all I did was study.”
“Ellie—”
She cut him off, not wanting to hear his condemnation. “Getting a college degree was important to me! I’m the first in my family to get one.” And she was proud of it. Immediately after she’d gotten her bachelors she’d gone for her masters. “I’ve replaced half of it already and planned to put the rest back in the next five years. I thought I had more time.”
Jay was quiet for a moment, watching her carefully, not exactly assessing, but he was staring as if he was seeing her in a different light. She tightened her jaw and leaned back against the chair, crossing her arms around herself even though it pulled at her sore ribs.
“Who’d he take the money from?” Jay finally asked.
Crap, he was asking all the right questions. “Carlo De Luca.”
Jay’s eyes widened as he slid off the chair. “Are you kidding me!” He wasn’t asking. Turning from her, he placed both hands on the island top and took a deep breath. “Carlo De Luca,” he muttered, saying the name like a vile curse. Swiveling, he faced her again. “He threatened to tell De Luca you stole it or you’d been sitting on it or whatever if you didn’t do something for him, didn’t he?”
She nodded, not surprised he’d come to that conclusion.
“That’s why you ran?” he demanded, disbelief in his voice, all over his face.
“Yes!” She jumped off the chair, ignoring the discomfort in her side. “That’s exactly why I did. Kevin and De Luca are both dangerous men. Kevin went to jail at freaking twenty because he’d already committed three felonies. And he didn’t tell me but I think he murdered the crew that helped him rob De Luca. The man is a monster and I guarantee prison has o
nly made him worse. He wants me to help him steal from the Serafina. I knew if I quit and told him I’d been fired that I’d become useless to him. He’d have no reason to bother me anymore and you and everyone I care about wouldn’t be a target to him. I’m not sorry for the decision I made!” she shouted, unable to stop the rising pitch of her voice. “You’re not a super hero Jay, and he’d come after me hard if I stick around here. That means he’d target you, the man I love.” Those traitorous tears threatened again but she held them at bay.
Jay stared at her, his breath coming in ragged bursts as he watched her in that unreadable way of his that made her want to squirm. “I don’t know if I should kiss you or shake you,” he finally muttered. “Why were you at that strip club today?” Something about his tone told her that he already knew the answer. Or had guessed.
“I needed money. I didn’t have enough in savings to cover the fifty thousand so I planned to get a quick loan and pay Leonard back after I liquidated some of my retirement funds.”
“And you didn’t feel comfortable asking me for it? You’d rather run, give up what we have together than set your stupid pride aside and ask me for the money?” The wounded look on his face sliced her to ribbons.
“I knew you’d give it to me. That’s not the problem, but I wasn’t about to ask you. I just couldn’t put you in that kind of danger, Jay. I…” She didn’t want to talk about it, but she had no choice. “I couldn’t lose someone else. It was my fault Anne Marie died and…I just couldn’t lose you too.” The words felt like a pathetic attempt to explain so much that she couldn’t say to him.
She’d lost her sister, her dad had run out on them after Anne Marie’s death, blaming Ellie for everything, and then her mom had died a couple years later from cancer. She’d never outright blamed Ellie for her sister’s death, but she’d seen the accusing look in her mom’s eyes every damn day. The guilt threatened to suffocate her for all the poor decisions she’d made as a teenager and she couldn’t let the sins of her past take Jay from her too. Even if she had to live without him, it was better than the alternative. Why couldn’t he understand that?