Culbeau sighed, said an exasperated, "Yeah, Sean. We are."
"Oh. Okay. Just wondered."
"When they're down just drag 'em out fast. Don't stop for nothing."
"Okay.... Oh, I was meaning to say. I got my Colt." "What?"
"I got my .38. I brought it." He nodded toward his pocket.
Culbeau paused for a moment. Then he said, "Good." He closed his big hand around the door handle.
... chapter twenty-two
Would this be his last view? he wondered.
From his hospital bed Lincoln Rhyme could see a park on the grounds of the University Medical Center in Avery. Lush trees, a sidewalk meandering through a rich, green lawn, a stone fountain that a nurse had told him was a replica of some famous well on the UNC campus at Chapel Hill.
From the bedroom in his town house on Central Park West in Manhattan, Rhyme could see sky and some of the buildings along Fifth Avenue. But the windows there were high off the floor and he couldn't see Central Park itself unless his bed was shoved right against the pane, which let him look down onto the grass and trees.
Here, perhaps because the facility had been built with SCI and neuro patients in mind, the windows were lower; even the views here were accessible, he thought wryly to himself.
Then wondered again whether or not the operation would have any success. Whether he'd even survive it.
Lincoln Rhyme knew that it was the inability to do the simple things that was the most frustrating.
Traveling from New York to North Carolina, for instance, had been such a project, so long anticipated, so carefully planned, that the difficulty of the journey had not troubled Rhyme at all. But the overwhelming burden of his injury was the heaviest when it came to the small tasks that a healthy person does without thinking. Scratching an itch on your temple, brushing your teeth, wiping your lips, opening a soda, sitting up in a chair to look out the window and watch sparrows bathe in the dirt of a garden....
He wondered again how foolish he was being.
He'd had the best neurologists in the country and was a scientist himself. He'd read, and understood, the literature about the near impossibility of neuro improvement in a patient with a C4 spinal cord injury. Yet he was determined to go ahead with Cheryl Weaver's operation--despite the chance that this bucolic setting outside his window in a strange hospital in a strange town might be the very last image of nature he ever saw in this life.
Of course there are risks.
So why was he doing it?
Oh, there was a very good reason.
Yet it was a reason that the cold criminalist in him had trouble accepting and one that he'd never dare utter out loud. Because it had nothing to do with being able to prowl over a crime scene searching for evidence. Nothing to do with brushing his teeth or sitting up in bed. No, no, it was exclusively because of Amelia Sachs.
Finally he'd admitted the truth: that he'd grown terrified of losing her. He'd brooded that sooner or later she'd meet another Nick--the handsome undercover agent who'd been her lover a few years ago. This was inevitable, he figured, as long as he remained as immobile as he was. She wanted children. She wanted a normal life. And so Rhyme was willing to risk death, to risk making his condition worse, in the hope that he could improve.
He knew of course that the operation wouldn't allow him to stroll down Fifth Avenue with Sachs on his arm. He was simply hoping for a minuscule improvement--to move slightly closer to a normal life. Slightly closer to her. But summoning up his astonishing imagination, Rhyme could picture himself closing his hand on hers, squeezing it and feeling the faint pressure of her skin.
A small thing to everyone else in the world, but to Rhyme, a miracle.
Thom walked into the room. After a pause he said, "An observation."
"I don't want one. Where's Amelia?"
"I'm going to tell you anyway. You haven't had a drink in five days."
"I know. It pisses me off."
"You're getting in shape for the oper
ation."
"Doctor's orders," Rhyme said testily.