‘It’s okay. I did know.’
‘Yes, and if we’d discussed it, I could have told you it was okay. It was hard, and I felt dreadful, but in the end I was determined that I’d get through it. Wouldn’t that have made you feel better?’
Hannah nodded silently.
Chloe took a deep breath. Jon had given her the courage to tell her own secrets, and maybe he could give her the courage to ask the same of Hannah.
‘Whatever it is that’s the matter, it can’t hurt me, Hannah. And it can’t hurt you either. If you’ll tell me, I’ll just listen and maybe that will help.’
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
IT WAS LATE when she got back to their room, and Chloe opened the door quietly, sure that Jon must be asleep. But the light by the bed was on and he was propped up on the pillows, reading.
‘How’s Hannah?’ He seemed to be able to read Chloe’s distress and confusion on her face.
‘Sleeping. We talked quite a bit.’
He nodded. ‘Can you tell me about it?’
‘Yes.’ Chloe sat down on the bed next to him. It seemed that tonight he’d made some kind of decision, because even though the evening had been warm he was wearing an old T-shirt, the bedcovers pulled over his legs. It seemed strange not to find him naked in their bed.
‘Do you want to tell me about it?’
Yes. More than anything. ‘I told her about what happened with me and Jake, and how I felt I’d let her down. She told me some things about Amy’s father. I thought that there was no contact between them after she came home, but she texted him and told him she was pregnant.’
‘What was his reaction?’ The look in Jon’s eyes told her that he already had some idea.
‘He said that the baby probably wasn’t his anyway. When she told him that she loved him and there hadn’t been anyone else, he said that if she really loved him she’d terminate the pregnancy, and let him get on with his life.’
Jon shook his head, cursing quietly under his breath. ‘If James had only known that. If I’d known it even...’
‘Why do you think she kept quiet? James was ready to wring his neck anyway. She sent a photo when Amy was born, but he just messaged back telling her never to contact him again. She said that she felt so worthless. Perhaps that’s where some of these bad feelings about herself started.’
‘It wouldn’t be all that surprising.’ The tenderness in Jon’s eyes was making her melt. ‘So all the time you’ve been putting a brave face on things, and so has Hannah.’
‘I was so quick to accept that she didn’t care about him because I was trying not to care about Jake. When I told her that maybe she should just let him go, I thought I was giving her my honest opinion, but maybe it was just what I thought I should do.’
‘It was good advice. I don’t see that Hannah would have benefited by having him in her life.’
‘Thanks. But I know what I’ve done wrong.’
‘She really is better off without him. And so is Amy.’
He reached for her and Chloe shifted towards him on the bed so that he could fold her in his arms. Chloe wanted to just curl up with him, but the bedclothes were in the way. Surely friends with benefits only wanted to be close for the good times, not the bad.
‘Thank you. For being here.’
‘I just drove.’
She dug her elbow into his ribs. Or where she reckoned his ribs must be under the T-shirt and the duvet. ‘No, you didn’t. I don’t think I would have had the courage to try and break through with Hannah if you hadn’t been here. And I know it must have been hard for you.’
‘Me? I don’t—’ He broke off as Chloe reached up, putting her finger over his lips.
‘If you’re going to tell me that none of this is hard for you, you can save your breath.’
‘Yeah, okay. It’s hard. You and Hannah and James are all so close and...to be honest, I don’t think any of my family would even notice if I went missing, let alone come and find me.’
‘I’ll find you.’ Chloe started to peel away the layers of bedclothes that were wrapped around him.