‘Thanks. I’d really appreciate that.’
CHAPTER FIVE
THE MOOD HAD lightened between them. It was eleven o’clock before they had worked through the list of calls they had to make, but they’d done it. There had even been a couple of bad jokes, which they’d both laughed far too loudly over in an attempt to prove that they were at ease with the situation. Rafe knew that, in reality, about the only thing that they shared any more was the certain knowledge that what lay ahead of them wasn’t going to be easy.
He was about to swing into the parking space to one side of the cottage, and then realised that this was no longer his home.
‘Where can I park?’
‘Use the hardstanding. My car’s at the hospital.’
He should have thought of that and offered to take her there, so she could drive it back here, but it was too late now. He manoeuvred the heavy vehicle into the tight space and switched off the engine.
‘Is this okay? If you’re tired...’
‘It’s okay.’ She seemed to have screwed her courage up for this, and he knew Mimi didn’t back down. She got out of the car, and made a dash for the porch, unlocking the front door and not looking behind her as she disappeared inside. Rafe followed her, trying not to drip too much water on to the hall floor.
When they’d rented this place together, the decor had been gloomy and tired and Rafe had asked if he could apply a few licks of paint. The landlord had agreed willingly, and he and Mimi had chosen a cream colour for the walls, with an oatmeal-coloured carpet to match. She’d hung a few pictures and suddenly the place had become clean and welcoming.
Now, it was like a different place altogether. She’d ripped up the carpet and laid a wooden floor instead, and the walls were painted a faded plum colour, which suited the age of the cottage perfectly. An old dresser, which looked as if it had been lovingly restored and polished, stood in place of the flat-pack hall table.
She took off her coat and motioned for him to come through. Rafe followed her into the kitchen. Here, the new cabinets he’d put in were gone too, the wooden doors replaced with shiny white ones. No better, no worse. Just completely different.
‘Hang your coat here. It’ll dry off a bit.’ She pulled a chair that he didn’t recognise away from a table he didn’t recognise, and put it close to the old wood-burning stove, which was about the only thing that still remained from when he’d lived here. Rafe imagined that it had gained a reprieve only by dint of being too large and too heavy for Mimi to disconnect and drag out of the house.
He sat down, watching as she took cups from the cupboard and boiled the kettle. Rafe had taken nothing with him when he’d moved out, just his clothes and personal belongings, reckoning that the least he owed Mimi was to leave the home that they’d built together behind for her. She hadn’t wanted it, though. Even the cups and the tea towels were different.
‘You’ve made a good job of the place.’ His first instinct was
still to hide his feelings and pretend that nothing had happened, but he was trying to do things differently. If he couldn’t quite bring himself to tell her how much it hurt to see how ruthlessly she’d expunged any sign that he’d ever been here, he could at least acknowledge that there was a change.
‘Thanks.’ She looked around the kitchen thoughtfully, seeming to decide that saying nothing was her best option.
‘So you’ve been studying, renovating the cottage and looking out for Charlie.’ Rafe imagined that every penny she earned and every moment of her time must have gone into those three things. ‘Anything else? You must have had at least five minutes’ spare time since I saw you last.’
Her face broke into a sudden smile. ‘It was six minutes. And I wasted them quite shamelessly, eating chocolate in front of the TV.’
A faint echo of the life they’d had together here smacked Rafe squarely on the jaw. The evenings when she’d raided her not-so-secret chocolate stash and curled up on the sofa with him, feeding him the odd square as they talked. ‘I’m glad to hear it.’
She threw the tea bags into the cups and made the tea, giving each one a perfunctory stir before carrying them over to the table. She seemed to be about to sit down and then had second thoughts, clearly unwilling to go to the lengths of sharing a table with him just yet.
He should give a bit more. Something about his own life, perhaps. ‘I’m working at the new emergency care unit at Hartsholme Hospital.’
Surprise registered on her face. ‘I heard about that. I gather there’s some groundbreaking work going on there; I didn’t realise you were involved.’
‘I was looking for a challenge, a chance to push the boundaries a bit, and I found it. I’ve been there four years and it’s all been good.’
She nodded. ‘I was wondering... Your mother...?’
‘She’s well. In full remission.’
Suddenly, Mimi’s smile held nothing in reserve. ‘I’m so glad to hear that.’
‘Thank you. She and my father moved up to Scotland a few years ago, but I talk to her regularly. I’ll tell her you were asking...’
She pressed her lips together, shaking her head. ‘She probably doesn’t even remember me. I’m just pleased to know she’s okay.’
Rafe remembered what Toby had said and looked her straight in the eye. His chest tightened suddenly, as if his body was instinctively trying to strangle the words that he was determined to say. ‘What is it? What are you not saying?’