‘It wasn’t as bad as it might have been. Concussion and a fractured ankle. Broken shoulder.’ She tried to smile and Ethan felt his hand move across the seat towards her. Her injuries were bad enough that they would have left Kate immobile for a while. They would have taken away her only coping mechanisms...her independence and her ability to work.
‘What then?’ Something told him that there was more.
‘I...’ She heaved a sigh, but her gaze didn’t leave his face. ‘When I couldn’t get out, because of my injuries, it wasn’t so bad. But when I started to get back on my feet physically, the panic attacks began. I couldn’t sleep and I’d constantly be checking the locks on the doors. I didn’t go out of my flat for six months.’
If Ethan had ever doubted that she had the courage to tell him everything, now he didn’t. The little tilt of her head, the defiance in her eyes, was unmistakeable.
‘Were you alone? When you were attacked?’
She shook her head. ‘No, I was... I was with a man. Someone I was going out with.’
‘What happened to him?’ Ethan wondered whether guilt over what had happened to her companion played a part in this.
‘He ran away. He felt pretty bad about it afterwards, I suppose, but I only saw him once after that.’
It wasn’t guilt, then, it was betrayal. Ethan took a breath.
‘Kate, you know what’s happening here, don’t you.’
‘Yes, I know. I lost everything—my job, my boyfriend. I nearly lost my flat because I couldn’t keep the payments on the mortgage up. Then I made a new start and I thought that it was all behind me. Now I’m afraid it’s going to happen again.’ Her voice was expressionless, as if adding the emotion into the words was a little too much for her to bear.
‘Then you’ll know what you need to do.’
‘I need to just stop it. By myself, the way I did last time.’
‘No, you need to get some help.’ Ethan could see now why that would be difficult for her. The one person who had been supposed to help her the last time hadn’t just run away, he hadn’t come back afterwards.
‘My boss mustn’t know. You can’t tell anyone...’ Alarm flashed in her eyes, and a sudden shard of warmth dispersed the chill that had settled over Ethan. She’d trusted him enough to tell him.
‘You’re in my car. I’ll take that to mean that doctor-patient privilege applies.’
‘You’re not my doctor.’
Her sudden smile ripped away the last of his defences. Ethan had been trying to approach this professionally, as if she was a patient who could be cared for, but not about. Getting involved wasn’t something he did any more, and he’d almost forgotten how that went.
‘I’m a doctor. That probably covers it.’ He attempted a grin, and she nodded.
‘Okay then, doctor. What’s your solution?’
He struggled momentarily with the urge to take her in his arms. To tell her that it was all going to be all right and that he’d stay with her through the darkest of nights. Kate didn’t need reassurance, though, she needed action.
‘I have a friend. She works at the hospital. I’ve referred people who are traumatised by surgery to her before and she’s excellent at what she does. I can introduce you to her and she’ll see you out of hours. The only way that anyone else will ever know about this is if you choose to tell them.’
‘She must be expensive.’ At least Kate was thinking about it. She hadn’t turned the idea down out of hand.
‘I think it would be an excellent investment to see her privately for a few sessions, if she can see you straight away.’ Ethan wondered if Kate could afford it, and whether he could get away with speaking to Dr Usha Patel privately and paying for her sessions himself.
Kate shook her head suddenly. ‘I don’t want to jump the queue. There must be other people who need her much more than I do.’
Ethan sighed. ‘That’s Usha’s problem. Leave her to sort her diary out for herself. If she can’t do it, she’ll say.’
The internal struggle—that need to talk that Kate was constantly pushing away—was written all over her face. Finally she made the right decision.
‘You’re right. I’ll call her.’
When she got around to it, no doubt. Which might well be never. Ethan nodded, picking up his phone and consulting his contacts list. Kate almost jumped out of her seat.
‘What are you doing? It’s six o’clock.’