“I think I prefer the stories about the sea monsters. They’re not so sad...”
“Yeah. That’s because monsters aren’t real.” Fleur started to walk slowly out of the room. Rick followed her, wondering if she knew that he was just about to disprove the notion. Monsters were real, and today he was going to try to fight one of hers.
* * *
“I want to see you walking, first...” Rick had strolled with her to the well-equipped gym. “No...not the walking machine. Just up and down a bit.”
“Okay...” He could have assessed her gait on the way down to the gym if he’d wanted to. But she was learning to trust Rick’s methods and Fleur started to walk.
“Great. That’s good.” He approached her, reaching for one of the crutches. “You’re steady enough on your feet with just one...”
Fair enough. She’d proved that already walking while Ellie had held her hand. Fleur handed him the crutch and started to walk again. Up and down, trying not to think about what Rick was planning to get her to do next.
“Now give me the other one.”
Fleur’s heart sank. Heidi, her physiotherapist, had suggested this and she’d refused outright. Maggie had tried too. Rick was a harder prospect.
“I...suppose...” The floor seemed to wobble suddenly, beckoning her to fall flat on her face.
“You’re not going to fall. Trust me.” He moved around to face her, holding his hands out.
Right. The temptation to trust Rick was getting a little too much these days. Fleur
had been working on not trusting him, because she wasn’t going to be around for much longer. But one look at his face told her that all the excuses in the world, wrapped in paper and tied with a bow, weren’t going to wash with him.
“Give me the crutch, Fleur,” he said firmly.
“All right!” Fear made her snap at him, but he ignored it. Fleur handed him the other crutch, and he propped it up against the wall.
She didn’t want to hold onto him. Didn’t want to feel the buzz of electricity that seemed to crackle between them every time they touched. But she was too afraid not to. She reached out, putting her hands in his.
“Okay. Here’s my little story...” He was holding onto her securely, and the floor seemed to be under control once more. “My aunt broke her hip a few years back. She had a hip replacement, and went into rehab. When she got out she was back on her feet and walking.”
“And... You’re going to shame me now? By telling me that even your aunt can do better than I can?”
“No. The rehab center did a good job, but they never took her stick away. Even when she was walking around inside the house, she always had her hand on something. The counter tops in the kitchen, the backs of chairs... She had this enormous rubber plant in the hall, and I saw her holding onto one of the leaves one day. It never would have supported her if she’d lost her balance.”
Fleur frowned. “She needed just to hold onto something. She wasn’t confident enough to walk on her own.”
“Yes, that’s right. Letting go is one of the biggest steps. I don’t want you to give your crutches up just yet, but you need to know that you can, and you will. Are you ready?”
No. She wasn’t ready for this. Walking alone into an uncertain future. But Rick wasn’t going to let her wriggle out of it, not the way she had with Heidi and Maggie. He would just keep pushing until she did it.
Slowly she took a couple of steps. Okay. This was good. She felt his grip relax a little until her hands were just resting in his. A few steps more, and their fingertips were barely touching.
She felt her legs begin to wobble, not through weakness but fear. Fleur gulped back the feeling and took another few steps. But the sensation she’d experienced when she’d fallen, that few moments of sheer panic at knowing that she’d hit the floor, suddenly rushed up at her again. Before she could grab for Rick, she felt her knees buckle.
“Okay... I’ve got you.” Suddenly she was safe. Trembling in his arms, but safe. Fleur felt tears spike at the corners of her eyes.
“I’m okay. I’m okay...” It seemed as if she was telling herself, not him.
“Feel it, Fleur.” His breath seemed to caress her ear.
Feel what? The way his arms around her seemed so strong. So good... Then, as the tears began to roll down her face, she knew suddenly what he meant. This wasn’t about being able to walk without the crutches. It was about facing the future, and knowing that she could tackle it alone, without anything to lean on.
“I don’t know if I can, Rick...” She was hanging onto his shirt now, unable to disguise her tears. “I’m so afraid...”
“I know.”