‘That’s all?’ He raised an eyebrow.
‘I enjoyed it as well. Almost as much as if I’d been able to pull on the oars.’
‘Maybe you will soon.’
Laurie puffed out a breath. ‘You want me to say it?’
‘Yeah. Go on. Since I shared first.’ There was the hint of a tease in his tone.
‘I’ve got an exercise regime and I’m sticking to it. Making sure I don’t overdo things and stopping before I do too much. But then you knew that anyway, didn’t you? Sam was in the gym the other day...’ Laurie wondered how Ross would answer. She could understand it if he was keeping her under surveillance from afar.
‘To be honest...?’ Laurie nodded him on. ‘No. I haven’t asked and Sam hasn’t mentioned it.’
She believed him. Maybe, after all the years spent looking over her shoulder, she wasn’t so paranoid after all.
‘My hip’s feeling a little better.’ Laurie turned down the corners of her mouth. ‘Does Sam hate me?’
He let out an explosive laugh. ‘Hate you? Sam doesn’t hate anyone, she’s one of the nicest people I know.’
‘Yeah?’ Laurie raised her eyebrows.
He rolled his eyes. ‘What? I can’t say something about one of my colleagues without you thinking I’m up to something? Sam’s married with a three-year-old. Her husband’s also one of the nicest people I know.’
‘Sorry.’ The inquisitiveness had gone too far. But Laurie had spent an inordinate amount of time wondering about Ross’s love life. You were right had felt like a next step into intimacy with him, after long, battle-strewn foreplay. It didn’t feel honest to engage in that if there was another woman in his life.
‘That’s okay. It’s not as if the clinic’s entirely immune to a bit of romance. Sam met Jamie here, he’s an accountant and comes in to do the books for a couple of weeks every year.’
‘That’s...nice.’ It sounded normal and happy and...all the things that Laurie’s family wasn’t.
Ross chuckled. ‘Yeah, it is nice. They took one look at each other and suddenly Sam was interested in numbers. I think I gave her a pretty hard time about that, but she’s forgiven me. Like I said, she’s a good person.’
And life worked out for good people. What did that make Laurie? Despite all her efforts to regulate her existence, to keep everything under control, her life was a mess at the moment.
‘I guess it’s all a matter of finding out what you want.’ Laurie shrugged.
Suddenly, Ross’s brow darkened. ‘You think so?’
This wasn’t about Sam or her husband any more. ‘I think... I’m a sportswoman. Focus and working hard were my ways of getting where I wanted to be.’
‘I don’t underestimate those things.’ There was a hint of regret in his voice. ‘But I don’t think life takes much notice of them sometimes. It’s not always on our side.’
‘You mean Adam and Tamara?’ Surely Ross couldn’t be referring to himself. He could take anything he wanted from life.
The moment’s hesitation before he replied was his real answer. The clinic, his life here was one dream. But there was another that he’d lost.
‘Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I mean.’
She could ask. Laurie had the feeling that if she did, she wouldn’t receive the head-on, honest reply that he’d given to all her other inappropriate questions. Ross had his secrets, the same as everyone else. And she should let them alone, they weren’t her business.
‘I ought to apologise to Sam. I didn’t give her much of a chance, did I?’
He smiled suddenly. ‘No, you didn’t. And an apology isn’t necessary. Although I’m sure she’d appreciate it.’
‘I’ll go and see if I can find her.’ Laurie got to her feet and Ross chuckled.
‘Don’t waste a second in making it so, will you.’
He was teasing again, but she didn’t mind. He made no move to follow her and when she looked back he seemed deep in thought. Laurie wondered if he was taking a moment out for the things in his own life that he hadn’t been able to make so.