‘Yeah. Me too.’ Ben held her gaze but didn’t move, and Arianna realised that it was because she was standing too close to the doorway. She moved aside to let him into the room.
‘Just...help yourself to whatever you need. First one up in the morning makes coffee.’ Arianna had no doubt that the first one awake would be her. These days, she had so little need of her alarm clock that she might as well throw it into the sea.
‘It’s a deal.’ He turned towards the bed and then changed his mind, as if going anywhere near it when she was in his line of sight was a faux pas. ‘I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight.’
‘Goodnight, Ben. And...thank you for coming over.’ Arianna turned, making for her own bedroom.
* * *
Ben had taken a risk, but he’d had to come. He’d spoken to Lizzie, who had told him that if he had things to work out with Arianna then he should go. So he’d kissed Jonas goodnight, waited until he was asleep and left.
He’d faced his own diffidence about whether he was really the one to help Arianna and decided that just because he wasn’t in the business of saving anyone any more, it didn’t mean he couldn’t do something. Then he’d faced Arianna. And now he expected himself to just go to sleep?
He slipped off his shoes, and left his chinos and T-shirt laid out so that he could dive back into them at a moment’s notice. Lying down on the bed under a crisp white sheet, he stared in the approximate direction of the ceiling. Nights here were darker than the ones in London, where a little bit of the yellow glow of streetlights had a habit of filtering through into a room.
Ben could hear Arianna moving around, and rejected the temptation to imagine what she was doing. He wasn’t here for that, and it was wrong to even give it head room. The house was silent now and he turned over, focusing on a different area of darkness in the room.
Maybe he’d dozed off, but he didn’t think he had. He could hear someone moving around, footsteps and the rustle of fabric, but the noises were quiet and measured. Ben stayed still, listening for any indication that Arianna was in distress and not just getting out of bed to fetch a glass of water.
‘May I come in?’ Arianna’s words were almost a whisper, and if he’d been asleep he would have missed them entirely.
‘Of course.’
A faint shadow moved across the room and the bed moved as she sat down on it. Ben reached for her hand, but couldn’t find it.
‘Come here...’ He shifted back on the bed, to give her space.
She inched towards him, and Ben reached out again, his fingers connecting with hers this time. And there was no resistance when he guided her hand. Arianna lay down next to him on the bed, and Ben tucked her against the curve of his own body, putting his arm around her.
‘That’s nice.’ She was wrapped in the light quilt that he’d found her under the other morning, but he could still appreciate the scent of her hair, and the feel of her fingers twisting around his.
‘Yeah. Much better.’
He felt her relax, her head on the pillow next to his. Ben listened to every breath, the way he’d sat and listened to Jonas’s breathing when he was a baby, and sometimes still did. It began to steady and slow, as if she were falling asleep.
* * *
She was dreaming. Her fingers clutching at nothing and her legs twitching, as if running fast. Ben pulled Arianna a little closer, careful not to wake her. Maybe she’d feel him there in her dream.
Long moments of agonised waiting. She was quiet and still for a few minutes, and then her body began to move against his again, as if the dream had faded and then returned. And then he felt her jump, a small cry escaping her lips.
‘What did you dream, Arianna?’ Maybe if she told him now, when she was still half-asleep, she could make a little more sense of it.
‘I don’t... I don’t know.’ Her movements were more purposeful now, and she seemed about to pull away from him and sit up.
‘Just relax a moment. Tell me about your dream.’ Pushing her back into a world that obviously terrified her was a risk. But he couldn’t save her from it, and the next best thing was to be with her and try t
o provide some comfort.
‘I’m on the ferry, and then I fall into the water. I’m being dragged down...’ Ben could feel her starting to panic, and he found her hand, winding his fingers around hers. ‘I’m being dragged down but... I’m telling Xander to let go. I can’t help him, and it’s not my fault.’
She’d remembered that, at least, and it was reflected in her dream now. ‘Can you find me?’
‘No...’ Her body tensed suddenly. ‘No, I couldn’t find you, Ben. You weren’t there...’
‘I’m here, Arianna. Hold on tight.’
Her fingers clutched his almost painfully. And then she began to relax. Ben suspected that this was usually the point at which she got out of bed and went to sit on the veranda. Sitting up all night had the advantage of clearing your head, but it did nothing for your readiness for work in the morning.