That was...intense.
Jannes stalked off towards the coffee stand, walking faster now that he didn’t have to slow for Lara’s shorter frame.
He had meant it to be a quick peck on the lips, to prove to himself if no one else that he and Lara were good enough friends to fake being an item without things becoming weird. He hadn’t been prepared for the chain reaction that the merest brush of her lips against his had triggered. He hadn’t been thinking at all when he’d pinned her body flush against his. When he’d arched into the kiss, wanting to be closer, to lift her higher, to bring every inch of her body into contact with his own. It had taken every gram of strength that he’d had to pull away from her, to remind himself that the reason he’d been resisting her since the day that he’d met her was because he didn’t want to hurt her. Because she deserved better than that.
Jesus, it had been a while. Perhaps he could pretend that that was why he had felt so desperate for her. Far from having a girl in every port, the last year he’d been...ci
rcumspect. Aware that every date he had would inevitably end up in the tabloids or going viral. A version of his life gaining traction that he just didn’t recognise. He hadn’t left a string of broken hearts in his wake, regardless of what the papers wrote. It was the opposite, in fact. He’d avoided getting involved past a first date, knowing that he would only hurt someone if he let himself get closer.
The holding hands—where had that come from? He’d given Lara a convenient excuse to cover up the fact that he’d done it without thinking. The kiss had broken through all the defences that he’d constructed, and he’d just acted on instinct. Forgot, for a moment, that he had to resist taking what he wanted. His skin had wanted hers and he’d reached for her before his brain had caught up with what his body was doing.
He reached the stall and ordered their coffees, realising after he’d done it that he hadn’t even had to think about what she wanted. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been with a girl long enough to know her coffee order. But this was different. Lara wasn’t a girlfriend. She was a friend. A good friend. Probably the best one he’d had, in fact. It was perfectly understandable that he knew what coffee she liked. He spent more time with her than just about anyone else.
And now he had kissed her and his head had exploded and all these years of keeping their relationship carefully platonic had gone up in smoke.
It was friendly, he told himself again. They were kissing and pretending to date because that was what a good friend did when they were asked.
He walked back towards where he had left Lara on the bench and found her stretched out, thumbs tapping at her phone, face screwed up with concentration. He stood and watched her for a moment. She looked focused. No hint that she shared in the roiling anxiety he’d been fighting since their kiss. He was making a big deal out of nothing. To her, it had clearly been what they’d intended: a practice kiss between friends. No feelings involved. She knew the score, and he did too.
CHAPTER THREE
‘WOW, YOU LOOK...’
Lara stood by the door of her apartment, eyebrow raised as Jannes looked her up and down, waiting for him to finish his sentence. They really needed to get on their way to the wedding, but there was no way she was leaving until she had heard what Jannes thought.
‘...nice,’ he finished, and she rolled her eyes.
Nice was the worst of all the compliments. She kind of wished that she’d not let him finish now.
‘You too,’ she replied with a smirk. ‘Shall we go?’
Normally she would have invited him in. Let him lean his long limbs against the kitchen counter while she darted between her bedroom and bathroom, posting pictures of her getting ready, gathering up last-minute bits for her handbag, forgetting her credit card and having to run back for her lipstick.
She was nervous about seeing her family, wanted to get it over and done with. That was what she told herself as she hustled Jannes out of the door. Nothing to do with not trusting herself to be alone in her apartment with him after that kiss. Everything would go back to normal after tonight. They would put this behind them and get back to slobbing around in lounge pants and watching bad TV together at the weekends. Back to maintaining their friendship over video calls while he went from training camp to training camp, around the world solo and back again.
Soon, she’d be able to look at him and find him nice again. The way that she had before that kiss. Because, right now, nice didn’t seem to be doing him justice, and she wasn’t sure what could have changed that other than the kiss that they’d shared.
The suit helped of course. Cut close to his shoulders, the waist and hips slender enough to make her jealous, but which she knew now were hardened muscle underneath. His shirt was pale blue, just enough of a hint of colour to do something to his eyes that made them hard to look away from. That made his skin and his hair glow. Really, sometimes it was very hard being his friend.
She fluffed up her hair and locked the door behind her, checking her lift sharing app to make sure that the driver had found her apartment building. Or to give her eyes somewhere to look that wasn’t at Jannes.
‘So, anything I need to know before we go in there?’ Jannes asked in the car on the way to the ceremony at the groom’s parents’ manor out in the home counties.
‘Oh, you know...the usual: my jackass of a father. Secret second daughter—i.e. me—taken into the bosom of the “official” family when her mum received an eviction notice from the flat that she thought she owned and all was discovered. Step-family determined to make up for his shortcomings by being obsessively kind. Pip, the only child who always dreamed of having a sister, suddenly finding she had one all along and determined to love me.’
Jannes was silent for a second as she collected herself. ‘Will he be there?’ he asked, his voice so gentle it threatened to spark tears.
‘Nope. Haven’t seen him for years. He sees some of the family but I’ve always managed to dodge him. Pip didn’t invite him; she knew I wouldn’t come if she did.’ And she wouldn’t care if she never saw him again. Which was convenient, really, considering that he seemed to feel the same way about her. ‘His mother will be. My grandmother, I suppose. Hard to think of her like that though when I spent most of my life being told that she was dead.’
Jannes reached for her hand and squeezed it. She pulled it away before she could do something stupid like turn her palm to his and lace their fingers together. ‘I’m sorry today will be hard for you. I think you’re really brave for doing this.’
‘Brave. Stupid. What’s the difference?’ She forced a smile to her face, but knew that Jannes wouldn’t be fooled.
‘You’re a good sister, putting yourself through it for Pip. You must really care about her.’
Lara shrugged, shifting her hand out of reach just as he reached for it. ‘They took us in. Kicked him out. I owe them.’
Jannes nodded in agreement. Squeezed her hand again.