‘Oh, we should...’ She tried to kick her brain into gear, but Jannes was already on the case. His hands came up to cup her cheeks and she shuddered as he dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers. She pulled him closer with the fists still clenched against his chest and it wasn’t until she opened her mouth under his that she remembered that they were at a family event. At church.
‘I’m so angry with you right now,’ she said softly, pulling away though every cell in her body was protesting at the loss of him.
‘Funny way of showing it,’ Jannes retorted, his hands falling to rest on her hips.
‘Yeah, well, we’ll talk about that later,’ she said, uncurling her fists and grabbing his hand instead. Adrenaline was leaching from her system and she suddenly felt limp, as if she just wanted to lean into him and soak in the fact that he was here and whole. She practically dragged him into the church and down beside her onto a pew.
‘I thought you’d been eaten by sharks,’ she said, keeping her face deadly serious, although it was tucked firmly into his shoulder, so the effort was probably wasted on him.
‘And this is the sympathy I get?’
She glanced at his face to see that a corner of his mouth had quirked up, which only made her more angry. ‘I swear, if you get yourself eaten by sharks I’ll be furious with you.’
‘I’m sorry I worried you,’ he said, tucking a piece of hair that had escaped her messy bun behind her ear. Why did he have to be so impossibly reasonable all the time? ‘My phone died and I didn’t have your number. I didn’t have time to get to your apartment so I figured the best thing to do was to meet you here.’
‘Your phone died?’ she asked him. Why had abandoning her and being eaten by sharks featured higher on her list of possibilities than the more reasonable dead phone explanation?
‘Sank, actually. Occupational hazard.’
She shoved at his shoulder with her chin. ‘I was worried.’
‘I know. And I truly
am sorry.’ He pulled her tighter to him with an arm around her shoulder and kissed the side of her head. ‘I’ll make sure the whole crew have your number next time, just in case. No more risk of complete radio silence unless I’ve warned you beforehand. I promise.’
‘Good,’ Lara replied, relaxing gently against his side. ‘Now. How much of an exhibition did we just make of ourselves on consecrated ground?’
He grinned. ‘I’d say an appropriate amount for a newly engaged couple who have been separated for a fortnight. Do you want to go and say hi to your family?’
She looked towards the door of the church, but more and more people were coming in, and they’d only be fighting against the flow of people if they tried to leave now.
‘No, let’s stay here. We’ll catch up with people after the ceremony. Tell me about your training camp. How was it?’
She listened as he filled her in on what he had been up to for the last couple of weeks, and she tried to keep her eyes and her mind on him, rather than the people entering the church.
Eventually, she heard a squeal and Pip was climbing over people in the pew behind to try and reach her. She dragged first Lara and then Jannes into a hug, then grabbed Lara’s hand to look at her engagement ring. ‘Congratulations, you guys!’ she said. ‘Why didn’t you tell us? Another wedding!’
‘Oh, we didn’t want to steal your thunder,’ Lara said, throwing a quick look at Jannes. ‘How was your honeymoon?’ she asked, looking for a quick change of subject.
‘Oh, you know, decadent, idyllic—you’ll find out soon enough,’ she added with a wink.
She was spared having to think of a reply by the vicar clearing his throat at the front of the church.
‘I’ll talk to you later,’ she whispered to Pip, who hurried back to her seat.
Lara kept her gaze fixed forward throughout the ceremony, resisting the twin urges to look around to see if her father had shown up, or to get her fill of Jannes’s face, to assuage that anxious feeling in her belly that persisted even though she knew he was sitting beside her. It wasn’t until the adrenaline started to wear off that she realised how worried she had been, and now that he was here beside her it was as if she was finally free to imagine every terrible way she might have lost him. A huge wave of fear and relief hit her at once, and she felt for his fingers with her own, nudged his pinkie and then tangled their fingers together.
In her peripheral vision she saw him glance across at her, worried, then he squeezed her hand and lifted their linked fingers to his lips.
That simple kiss shouldn’t have stirred her and stilled her all at once. It should have been either one or the other—the comfort of a friend or the spark of a hook-up. The two together? Well, it was unprecedented, and that meant it couldn’t be trusted. That was what she had fought to stay away from all these years, because she knew that it could lead to nothing but heartache.
But also it felt...right. In a way that should have her running from it, while simultaneously making even the thought of doing so completely impossible. Because if she didn’t, one or both of them was going to get hurt. But...wasn’t that going to happen either way? Walking away from this wasn’t a pain-free option any more. Not after Harbourside. She compromised by pulling her hand back and having it rest in her lap, in a demure fashion she was certain she had never attempted before.
Jannes glanced across at her, but she refused to make eye contact. She should at least try to look as if she was paying attention if she was going to convince Pip and her mother that family therapy wasn’t really a thing that she needed because she was perfectly fine and had a perfectly fine boyfriend thank you very much.
The service ended with the twins in tears, the godparents looking traumatised and the vicar shouting valiantly, if not terribly successfully, over the racket. The combination of crying babies and organised religion could hardly be a more perfect storm for guaranteeing that she wanted a drink. She dodged relatives in the churchyard and headed straight for the hotel over the road where the reception was being held. At some point during her manoeuvres for the exit, Jannes must have worried about losing her in the crowd because his hand had found its way back into hers.
She didn’t even bother shaking him off. It was easier if they stuck together. That was definitely the reason she let her hand disappear into his palm. Nothing to do with feeling anchored and secure in a situation that would normally make her flighty and adrift. Would normally be sneaking off to her car rather than risk having to make conversation with her father. She’d seen him there in the church, near the back, as if he couldn’t be sure of his welcome. And so he should, because she couldn’t understand how any of them could even stand to look at him. Some people were sentimental about family, she supposed, congratulating herself for not being one of them.