‘Because of the high probability of me stealing a yacht?’
He shook his head. ‘Oh, God, Lara, please don’t steal a yacht. If you want one, there are half a dozen people here who would probably just give you one for free.’
‘Should we try?’ Her eyes lit up, and he couldn’t resist teasing her.
‘If you like. Do you get a lot of yachting opportunities in Hackney?’
‘You’re such a killjoy. And also annoyingly right,’ she said. ‘So maybe I should steal a really big yacht and just live in it here.’
Jannes shook his head. ‘Come on,’ he said, pulling her gently by the hand.
‘Where are we going?’
‘Window shopping.’
He led her down to the water, and along the jetty to where a long line of boats was moored, from the little dinghies the kids from the yacht club sailed to huge pleasure cruisers with their satellite masts, multiple decks and speedboats at the aft deck.
‘What are we doing?’ Lara asked again, grabbing hard onto his arm and nearly toppling them into the water as they stepped down onto the floating pontoon.
‘Woah, you all right there?’ he asked, grabbing her and pulling her towards him to steady her.
‘Didn’t realise I’d need my sea legs just yet,’ she said, and they both laughed. But his laughter died quickly when he realised how close he had pulled her to stop her falling. They hadn’t been this close since that night in Liverpool. He’d had to forcibly remove memories of it from his brain. How her high heels had tipped her forward so her hips had brushed his thighs, her breasts just barely touching his ribcage. The way she’d tilted her chin up so that she could meet his gaze, despite the difference in height between them.
He was forcibly reminded of standing not unlike this at Pip’s wedding, with Lara’s forehead resting against his chest and his hands in her hair. He reached for a strand of it now, tweaking the end of a curl where it tickled against his hand. This was where they always pulled away. Pretended that neither of them had noticed the sparks flying between them. He never asked if Lara had felt them too. That hadn’t seemed necessary, considering he had no intention of acting on them. But now that they had blurred the lines between friendship and something more, it was hard not to wonder whether she felt the same. He could just ask her. He probably should just ask her—get it out in the open. Take the mystery and the danger out of it.
Except he wasn’t sure that he wanted to talk about it. If it turned out he was imagining this—and he had no intention of acting on any of it—it would just be stirring things up for no reason. He just had to do what he always did when he had these thoughts—push them as deep down as possible and focus on something else.
‘So you’re in the market for a yacht,’ he said, getting his mind out on the water, where it was safer.
‘Absolutely.’ She threaded her arm through his and looked at him conspiratorially as they walked. ‘How do I do this? Do I just pick the biggest one?’
‘That’s one approach.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Or, you know, you think about which features are most important to you and how each vessel measures up, and the environmental credentials of each company and—’
‘Maybe one of the huge ones that has a little speedboat on the back. That seems practical. A boat for every mood. Or I could just pick the most expensive one. Or the cleanest or the shiniest. I like the idea of the cleanest one.’
‘What if you liked one of the others better, though, and then we just took a pressure washer to it?’
Lara sighed melodramatically. ‘Darling, you are making this far too complicated.’
A cannon sounded, marking the start of a race, but Lara startled, making the pontoon wobble again. Jannes pulled her tighter against him and wrapped an arm around her waist.
‘Should we get you back on dry land?’ he asked.
‘That’s an excellent idea. Window shoppi
ng makes me thirsty. And I’m pretty sure you owe me a G&T. Photos first, though,’ she said, holding out her phone. ‘You’re an Instagram boyfriend now. Got to start acting like one.’
He took the phone from her and took a few pictures of her posing in front of the yachts, capturing her hair whipping in the wind and her shrieks of laughter as the pontoon wobbled and she nearly lost her footing again. She looked beautiful, of course. He wasn’t sure there was anything even he could do to a camera that would prevent that.
‘Really?’ he asked, scrolling through the pictures so that she could see them. ‘I still need to hear why it is I owe you a drink.’
‘Well, I’m pretty sure I just locked in that sponsorship for you. And I drove all the way down here and was nearly lost at sea.’
He laughed. ‘You’re impossible.’
‘It’s why you love me.’
The worst thing about it was that she was right. He’d had to acknowledge to himself a long time ago that he loved her. Platonically, of course. Everybody loved their friends. And yes, the fact that he was wildly attracted to her could make that complicated—if he let it—so he just wouldn’t. It was as simple as that. If he wanted her in his life, he had to make sure he kept things safe. And friendship was safe. Anything more intense risked both of them getting hurt. And he didn’t want to hurt Lara any more than he could bear the thought of Lara realising he wasn’t worth sticking around for and leaving.