He tilted his head. “What’s wrong, Klara? Why are you suddenly so quiet, hmm? Or did I shock you when I said I knew? Would you have preferred if I waited for you to tell me?”
I didn’t say it out loud, but yes. If he had just pretended not to know, I could have mustered up the courage to tell him. If there was no best time to bring it up, then I could just make one. He was only in New York for a visit, so while limited, I at least knew I had time.
The whole time, I’d been making plans in my head. I would imagine how he would react, and I would think of what to do in the case of each reaction. If he was surprised but open to the idea, I could introduce him to my parents, and to Ben.
Crap.
What now.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jake
It was easy enough to figure out.
Klara was hiding something, and there was no way I could meet her, or try to talk to her, while I doubted her. It might have been easier to just ask her, but I hadn't been sure if she would have told me, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear what it was, if it was what I’d been thinking.
What I found out was so far out of my expectations, though, that it took a while to process.
Brian, my old college friend and current PI, had worked faster than I expected. He’d told me who Ben was within a day, and the moment he told me the dates that aligned with his birth, it was easy enough to count back roughly nine months to when Klara and I met.
She’d told me herself that she hadn't been with anyone besides me for the past two years, and even in the middle of my doubts and suspicions, I was still inclined to believe her. Going by her character, in that time, there wouldn’t have been anyone else before me.
The conclusion I came to, was that the child was mine. Considering she’d been trying to hide him from me—or at least, didn’t outright tell me about him and didn’t want me showing up at her house where I could see him without prior warning—only made me even more sure.
I wasn’t angry, though. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was feeling, but I
knew I didn’t want to turn tail and run away. I hadn't told my parents yet, but already I was planning to.
First, though, I wanted to meet my son.
“I want to meet him, Klara,” I said, when she didn’t say anything for a long time. “He’s my kid. Of course I’d want to meet him.”
Right after I said it, she started blinking rapidly as her eyes grew moist. I didn’t know what about what I just said made her want to cry, but I reached out and pulled her into my arms.
It took a while for her to calm down. We moved to somewhere quiet where we could sit down and talk. It was a big, lively city, so it wasn’t an easy place to find, but we finally talked.
Klara told me everything through her tears. How she’d lost it after accepting that she would die from cancer, and ran off to have some fun. Unexpectedly meeting me, going back and hearing about the misdiagnosis. Then, in the middle of testing and treatment for what she had, they found the pregnancy.
I had been the one to walk away first back then. I couldn’t get angry at Klara. While I never would have expected something like this to happen, it didn’t change the facts, so I was more annoyed with myself.
Not only do I have a son, I missed the first year and several months of his life.
While I wasn’t sure how to feel about having a kid, and a kid with Klara at that, but I felt regret when I realized that I’d lost something.
She wanted to go home and prepare her family, so I’d be going to see him tomorrow.
“You won't try to run from this, will you?” I asked, still a little suspicious.
Klara laughed, and it sounded a little wet. She held my hand in hers and squeezed it.
“I feel like I should be the one most worried here. After all, I only hesitated for so long because I thought you’d run away.”
I softened a little. I knew she didn’t have any malicious intentions for not telling me right away. I didn’t like that she had those insecurities, so I squeezed her hand back, and leaned over to give her a soft kiss so she would know that I didn’t want things to change between us.
“You don’t have to worry about me,” I said reassuringly. “I never forgot about you after that night, I’d keep thinking of you randomly and wondering how you were. I didn’t know how to find you. But now that I have you right in front of me, you can believe that I won't be going anywhere this time.”
She looked at me for the longest time, but I was sure she believed me.