The entire ride back, I was fidgeting, twining and untwining my hands together. How was I going to face my family? When I up and left, I didn’t tell anyone where I was going, did they think I went to off myself out of grief?
Crap.
I was cursing myself now for being so careless, so heartless! Of course, they would worry about me, but all I could think of back then was myself. It had been more than two weeks since I left home in the middle of the night with my luggage. I had no idea where I was going or where I wanted to go, I just wanted to be the wild child for once, and possibly the only time, in my life.
By the time the scenery outside the taxi window started growing familiar, I was sweating in apprehension.
Mother, Father, please don’t be too angry at me…your daughter will cry, okay?
The taxi came to a stop in front of my house, and I took a deep breath, before pulling out the cash for the driver. He got out with me and helped me pull my luggage from the trunk, and I paid him. Then, he drove off. I watched until it was out of sight, then turned back to the house.
Slowly, I walked toward the front door, and I was a little annoyed to feel my legs shaking. I smiled, a hysterical feeling itching in my chest. I wanted to be a wild child, and right then, I felt like a teenager going back home to face the music after running off with friends without my parents’ permission. I’d never been scolded before because I was usually above reproach. I wasn’t perfect or anything, but it was rare for me to get scolded about growing up, and the fear in my stomach was entirely new.
A thought suddenly jumped into my mind.
He would laugh if he saw me now, wouldn’t he? Even though I was relaxed about coming home then…
The entire time I had been worried about everyone’s reaction and thoughts of Jake jumped at me out of nowhere. I realized I probably wasn’t the only one feeling apprehensive about going home. He’d ditched his brother at his bachelor party, and he’d gone home to face his parents and his brother about his life. While our circumstances were different, the situation was very similar, huh?
I wonder if he trembled like this when he got close to his home and facing his family.
I thought of it, standing in the middle of the family driveway, and decided that no. Jake didn’t look like the kind of person to tremble at anything, and not out of fear.
Unconsciously, as I thought about him, my lips turned up in a smile. It also gave me the courage to march the last few steps to the door. My fear was completely gone as I knocked on the door and pushed. It was unlocked, and I walked inside, carrying my stuff inside with me.
“Hello?” I called tentatively. “Anyone around? I’m home!”
There was silence; then I heard rushing steps. My little sister came down the stairs and stared at me, then ran back up before I could say anything.
“Mom!” she yelled. “Klara’s home!”
I opened my mouth to call her back so she would stop, but I didn’t get the chance to, she was too fast. Not long after, both of my parents and some of my relatives came back down. They must have come to visit while I was away, so Mom and Dad probably spread the news.
“Klara!”
The yell came from my mom, and I disregarded everyone else as I turned to her. She looked so devastated; I couldn’t help but feel guilty. She didn’t even give me the time to say anything, just wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. I hugged her back, ignoring the suffocating feeling, and felt my eyes sting.
“Klara, where have you been?” Dad asked, frowning.
I looked at him over Mom’s shoulder and gave a trembling smile. “I just went out to have a quick vacation,” I said dismissively.
“But we couldn’t reach you for days,” Mom complained.
I chuckled sheepishly. “I forgot to carry a charger, I was in a hurry, and I wasn’t really in the best frame of mind after…getting the test results. Sorry I couldn’t call you guys.”
“Forget about that,” Mom said impatiently, pulling away and holding me by the tops of my arms. “We were trying to contact you because we have big news! The doctor hasn’t told us everything, because we were waiting for you, but it’s good news, honey!”
She was smiling, the previous devastation on her face gone. I was a little surprised, but the smile I gave her wasn’t very enthusiastic. After the news I got, would anything ever count as good news again?
I was dragged over to the couch and sat down. Dad joined us in the living room after making a quick call, and I didn’t know where everyone else disappeared to. After some time, the front door opened, and I was surprised to see the family doctor walk into the house. It’s not as if it was the first time, though he only ever came for emergencies, like that time my little brother fell down the stairs and broke his arm. I’d seen him with our relatives earlier, but Mom and Dad must have made everyone stay away.
“Dr. Carter,” I greeted. “It’s a surprise to see you here. I didn’t know you made house calls?”
He smiled as he shook hands with my dad before the both of them sat down again.
“Well, I’m very relieved to see you. I know I didn’t give you the best news and when you suddenly disappeared, we were all worried about your mindset.”
I ducked my head, embarrassed. “I wasn’t thinking of hurting myself, or anything. I just wanted to see the world more, because I don’t get out much. I just went somewhere to relax and lost track of time.”